Book of the Month: TAKE ME HOME: Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
Working on Saturdays was nothing new but her first one in her new job ended with a whimper, and that whimper involved a lack of food. Olivia realized there was no food in her house only after she’d driven by the HEB grocery store, the Super Walmart, and any other shot she’d had at foraging for sustenance on her way home. She didn’t feel like cooking anyway. Not at all.
She was mentally exhausted. All she wanted to do was curl up with a glass of wine and continue to dig into the files in her briefcase in the vain hope that she could make a dent in the massive pile of work that kept breeding in the dark when she wasn’t looking.
She turned the corner and the answer to her dinner prayers stared at her from its perch overlooking Belton Lake. Talarico’s was relatively new, designed by some big shot architect in Austin. Tuscan and completely upscale, it served the best seafood around. It was her favorite place to hang out-before she’d gone to work in this new brigade and all the fun in her life had died.
There was a small crowd gathered outside-older folks dressed in business casual and talking about a local football team. She walked in and snagged a seat at the bar. She was hungry but suddenly, nothing sounded good. She ordered stuffed mushrooms and a glass of wine, then pulled out a file to start reading.
It wasn’t easy going through some of these backlogged cases. There were three incidents of child abuse in this brigade alone. She strongly suspected there were others that hadn’t been uncovered yet. Her phone vibrated on the bar and she opened her e-mail. Child Protective Services wasn’t making any progress. Sergeant First Class Escoberra was refusing to talk to investigators without a lawyer.
Christ, what a shit show. She closed her eyes, rubbing her glass against her forehead. It was so hard to reconcile the man Ben spoke about with the man who could have done what he did to his daughter.
She took a long pull off her glass as she read through the initial incident report again. Hailey had come home from school and she and Escoberra had argued about television. The report said Escoberra had just snapped.
And Hailey had borne the brunt of his temper.
And now no one was talking. CPS was getting ready to close the investigation. Olivia’s heart ached for the family. They obviously loved Escoberra. That kind of love was powerful- but it wasn’t powerful enough to overcome the beast inside of the man who was tormenting them.
Olivia asked the waiter for another drink and wondered if she was going to have nightmares tonight.
Olivia dragged her hand through her hair, hating this part of her job. The daily confrontation with evil that seemed to eat away at any sense of human decency left in the world. Sometimes it felt like there was a poison, a rotten, creeping poison in the belly of their society. Who could do this to a child and think it was okay? And how could anyone defend it?
How could Ben? How could he ignore what Escoberra had done? Even if Escoberra had saved Ben’s life, how could he ignore what he was capable of? She scrubbed her hands over her face as her emotions threatened to snap free from their moorings. She was tired. She needed to take a break from the constant work but there was no time. There were people counting on her. She couldn’t rest, couldn’t take time for herself when there were people who needed an advocate, who needed someone to stand up for them.
There was no room in her life for personal things. Escoberra’s case file mocked her from the bar.
This was just another case. One more family, broken by the war.
It wasn’t simply another case, damn it. It was a family. A mother and children.
She didn’t want to let justice run its course. She knew in her heart she was supposed to uphold the procedures, to make sure that the process worked, but sometimes that wasn’t good enough. She let the anger come, let the rage seep into her fingertips as she started writing out the charges against the sergeant. The minute the investigation was complete, she wanted his packet on Colonel Horace’s desk. She wanted Escoberra away from the family who loved him too much to push him out of their lives.
That love could kill them. God, she wanted to be wrong but she’d seen it too many times.
She caught herself breathing hard and forced herself to take a deep, quieting breath. Then another. Then she took another sip of her wine and slowly started writing again, focusing on the clarity of her argument, writing the charge specifications neatly so her clerk could type them up tomorrow. Pushing aside the writhing emotions and holding on to the rational side of her brain that demanded perfection.
She needed to take the anger and the hate out of it and focus on the legal argument. She could get as passionate as she wanted but if she lost her temper, she would lose the case and the monster would walk free into the light once more. A monster wearing the smiling, charming face of a decorated war veteran.
The only lead they had right now was the school nurse who had spoken with investigators the day after Hailey had been treated at the hospital.
It didn’t matter. None of it did.
The world fell away as she continued to write, losing herself in the smooth rhythm of her pen scratching against the paper. She imagined it was carving the charges into the monster’s skin, rendering him powerless.
“You look ready to snap that pencil in half.”
Olivia looked up at the familiar voice, the heat rushing along her skin as she met Ben Teague’s eyes.
***
He’d watched her, contemplating the fluid movements of her hand over the paper. But it was the torment in her eyes that had finally compelled him to move, to breach the divide between them and approach her. Cautiously, the riot of emotions twisting across her face as much a warning as they were compelling.
He’d seen her like this before. The other day at the tiny gym in the headquarters, she’d been lost in the memories. The anger and the sadness had radiated off her, shoved aside by sheer force of will, as though she could save the world simply by ordering it to be done.
“I get a little wound up when I’m working,” she said, setting the pencil down carefully. Her movements were too guarded. Too stiff. As though she was afraid she might snap.
She speared a mushroom with a fork but Ben wasn’t fooled by the sudden ease of her movements. He’d stood by the door watching her for a few good minutes and could have sworn he’d seen smoke pouring from that pencil as she’d scribbled furiously. She’d been focused. In the zone. Writing hard and fast and utterly unaware of the world around her.
There was something rough about the way she’d tackled the paperwork. Something fierce in the strokes of her pencil.
She was a woman on a mission. Dedicated. Focused. For a fleeting moment, Ben wished he could have that kind of dedication to his job. That sense of purpose that motivated him to get out of bed every day.
But command came with so much power. Power that was so easy to abuse.
He didn’t want this job. But now that he had it? He hated to admit it but his first sergeant was right-Ben had a job to do and it was a job that came with a huge responsibility. He was slipping into his role as commander slowly. Easing the heavy weight of responsibility around his soldiers. Keeping the fear of the power he wielded at bay.
Because it was fear. Fear that he would become like his mother, a woman who wielded power and authority like it was her personal right to lead soldiers.
She was wrong about that. Command was a privilege, not a right, and the power that came with the guidon was not something to be toyed with.
Ben didn’t want to forget that. “Are you okay?” he asked when she didn’t say anything.
“Fancy meeting you here,” she said, slipping her fingers around the stem of her wine glass.
He didn’t miss the slight tremble of the glass as she raised it to her lips or the way she avoided his question. There was something dark and tormented in her eyes, something that called out to him, beckoning to him in the setting sun that glinted across the bar from the bay windows that overlooked the lake.
And Ben wanted to know why.
***
She looked up when he’d said nothing for a long time and found him watching her. “What?”
The need inside her morphed into something yearning, something demanding a human touch.
Ben’s touch.
She very much wanted to slide closer to him right then. To feel his arms curl around her shoulders and feel the beat of his heart against her palm. She wanted to slip into his embrace and let the darkness fall away from the warmth of his touch. She wanted this man. She wanted the dark, needful things that made her body ache with long denied demands.
The work she did was an ugly thing. A necessary thing but so dark and filled with hate and hurt.
She wanted to push away that ugly darkness for just a moment. She wanted the gasps in dusky light, the sensual slide of his body against hers.
She licked her bottom lip, the want thick and heavy in her veins.
“You’re very intense when you’re working,” he said. He stepped close enough that she could see the faint stubble along his jaw. “Do you always work on weekends?”
She nodded toward his own uniform. “I could ask you the same question.”
His lips quirked at the edges. “Some shithead got a DUI and the commander called all of us in to yell at us.”
“Sounds fun,” Olivia said dryly.
“It was a hoot.” He tipped his chin and studied her quietly. “Are you always this intense?” A husky whisper, filled with innuendo.
“Depends on what we’re talking about.” She lifted one brow. His lips curled at the edges. Up close, she could see a thin scar at the edge of his mouth. She hadn’t noticed it before and she had the unexpected urge to trace the tip of her finger over the pale raised flesh.
“Are we back to flirting again?” His voice was deep. Teasing. Sensual.
She laughed and it broke apart the block of ice in her chest. “Maybe.”
He leaned closer then and she caught the scent of his skin, warm and male. It wrapped around her, that teasing warmth. It sparked hungry needs inside her and turned her thoughts away from the legalese in her files to something darker and infinitely more sensual.
“You don’t do this very often, do you, Olivia?”
She couldn’t look away from the intensity in his eyes. From the heat in his gaze, that made her want to strip away every barrier between them. “Do what?”
“I think you know what.”
His lips curled slightly as his dark gaze fell to her lips. A night with Ben would push away all the darkness and let her forget the evil she was fighting. It was tempting, so tempting. She could lean a little bit closer. Slide her fingers over his wrist. Feel the heat from his skin. Trace her fingers over the designs etched into his flesh.
“This could get complicated,” she murmured, watching his mouth as he took a drink.
“It’s already complicated.” He set the glass down. A flicker of moisture beaded on his bottom lip. “How much worse could it get?”
“A lot worse,” she said. She reached for him then, sliding her thumb across his bottom lip. The drop of water was warmed by his skin. It penetrated the pad on her fingertip, warm and wet and smooth.
He leaned closer. “Considering I’m not avoiding you like the last lawyer, yeah, it’s complicated.”
“You avoided the last lawyer?” This casual flirting was…nice. It felt surreal, like time had stopped and they were two normal, well-adjusted adults with all their shots and…
She could not get involved with one of the company commanders. She tried to remind herself of that but sitting there right then, seeing the sunlight glint off the edge of his cheek, she wanted. Oh, but she wanted. Something hard and fast in the darkness. Something wild and intense that would let her forget-for just a little while-all the evil that she confronted on a daily basis.
His eyes darkened as he watched her. One gesture. One whispered word and she could cross the line.
She watched his mouth move as he talked, her gaze locked on that wide, full bottom lip.
“Oh yeah. You have no idea how I avoided the brigade lawyers at all costs. They made my life miserable every time I was responsible for investigating missing property. This one time, I was chasing down a wrench-“
“Wait, did you say a wrench?” She covered his hand to stop him. His gaze dropped to their hands. But neither of them moved. “Why would you have to conduct an investigation on a wrench?”
Ben grinned. “It was a really expensive wrench.”
Olivia laughed quietly before she took a sip of her water. “And what happened to said wrench?”
“A contractor had sold it to an Iraqi for a hard drive full of porn.”
She choked and barely managed to cover her mouth to avoid spitting water at him. “You’re joking.”
He lifted two fingers into the air. The cool night air kissed her skin where the heat from his touch evaporated. “Scout’s honor. The platoon leader still had to buy the damn thing.”
“Why?”
“Because in that particular unit, the battalion commander found negligence in every single case so he could charge the commanders the full amount for missing property. I saw another guy get hemmed up for two months’ base pay for combat-lost equipment.”
She sobered and the budding desire aching through her veins faded just a little. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
“The lawyer should have objected.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
She narrowed her eyes. “No.”
Ben’s smile faded. “Let’s just say that commander got what he wanted out of that lawyer and leave it at that.”
“That’s not how it’s supposed to work,” she whispered.
He covered her hand with his. “It’s not a perfect world down here in the brigade combat teams. It’s gritty and raw and deeply flawed. The commander is king and if you don’t acknowledge that right off the bat, you’re going to be in a world of trouble.” She opened her mouth to argue and he squeezed her hand. “I’m not telling you this just for shits and giggles, Olivia.”
“You’re telling me something that conflicts with everything that I believe in.”
“Look, it’s really easy to try and fall on your sword. The only one who ends up hurt by that is you.” He removed his hand from hers and the kiss of cool air sent a chill racing down over her palm. “Your convictions are going to get the better of you if you don’t temper them. The brigade commander isn’t interested in all the bad shit you’re going to see. You can’t recommend that he court-martial everyone. Pick your battles.”
He reached for her, his hand swallowing the thin bones of her wrist. Ben’s hand closed over her forearm. Heat penetrated her skin, pulsing through her blood. “I’m not telling you not to recommend prosecution. I’m telling you to pick your battles carefully or you’ll lose all of them.”
She pulled her arm free. “What battles did you lose?” she whispered. She wanted to ask what happened to Escoberra after he’d been held responsible for the attack on their base. She wanted to know the things that kept him up at night.
She wanted to know Ben, the man in front of her. Not the commander. Not the man in the uniform.
The man behind the uniform.
“The wrong ones,” he said simply. He looked away, down at his glass. Just like that, the mood between them was once again filled with the dark ugliness of the war.
She swallowed a hard breath. “I can’t walk away from this, Ben. I can’t be strategic and try to figure out how to play this. Not this case. Not cases like it. I can’t.”
Ben studied her quietly. “Why is this so important to you?”
Her temper snapped. “Because someone has to do the right thing. Everyone always cares about the soldier. No one cares about the families.” Her voice was thick.
“You’re wrong,” he whispered.
***
He knew she thought he was protecting Escoberra out of blind loyalty. He knew what she saw when she looked at him–just another commander, playing fast and loose with the rules. But that wasn’t the case. It wasn’t.
But everything was so complicated.
Olivia deserved to know the truth, no matter how hard it was for him to resurrect enough to put into words. It was a truth he’d been avoiding for years, just like he’d been avoiding Escoberra.
“I resigned my commission after they hemmed Escoberra up for the attack,” he said quietly.
He closed his eyes against the physical pain of the memories.
He did not expect her fingers to slide over his. In the cool evening light, her touch was a beacon of warmth, of human connection.
“I was lying in the hospital when my battalion commander came and visited me. He told me what they were doing-that they were considering court-martialing Escoberra for the base attack. All because he pursued the enemy instead of holding his position.”
His body tensed involuntarily. Her fingers slid over his knuckles, a soothing gesture. So simple. So powerful.
“They said Escoberra failed to disseminate information about the attack. That they were holding him responsible for it.” He swallowed the bitterness that tightened at the back of his throat. “I told my commander if they did that, I would resign.” He couldn’t lift his gaze to look at her. He was terrified of what he might see.
“But you’re still here,” she whispered.
“Because after I resigned, my mother pulled in every favor she could to keep me in.”
“Your mother is in the Army?”
He nodded. “Colonel Diane Teague is currently somewhere in the Pentagon’s puzzle palace.”
“She’s a colonel?”
“Yeah. A colonel with a lot of powerful friends in the right places. Which is how I’m still in the Army.”
Finally, he dared to meet her gaze. “I tried to resign in protest. Mom squashed that plan,” he said. “And now, here I am.”
“And now you’re staying,” she said.
He looked down at her hand where it covered his. Twisted his palm until it was flat beneath hers. His fingertips brushed the inside of her wrist.
“Escoberra adopted Hailey when she was nine.” He smiled warmly at the memory. “He used to bring her into the office when she was a little kid.” He rubbed his hand over his mouth, stunned by how long ago that had really been.
He glanced over at Olivia and found her watching him silently. “I know you think he did this,” he said quietly. “But there’s got to be something else there. He loves that little girl. He wouldn’t do this, Olivia.”
Olivia looked away, her fingers drumming on the bar. Finally, she slid the folder toward him. “I don’t know how to reconcile the man who did this with the man you describe.” Cool fingers slid over his wrist. He looked down at her hand resting against his skin.
Such a simple, loaded gesture.
It was a long time before Ben met her gaze.
“I’m sorry, Ben,” she whispered. “I know you believe in him but there’s no other explanation for what happened. You can’t let this go, no matter how much he means to you.”
“I can’t do it, Olivia.” He looked down at their hands where hers still rested against his. “Maybe that makes me weak, maybe that makes me a horrible person, but I can’t believe he did this.” He bit his lips. “I’ve seen the pictures but there’s got to be something else that explains this. There has to be.”
“And what if there’s no other explanation,” she whispered. “What then, Ben?”
He met her gaze then, unable to look away from the quiet resolution in her eyes. The lack of judgment stunned him. “I don’t know,” he whispered.
***
The sun sank into the lake, casting pale shadows over his cheek. Her fingers rested against his wrist.
He sat still, completely motionless.
But when he moved, he stunned her.
He turned his palm over, threading his fingers with hers. Nothing more. Palm to palm, their skin connected in a way their bodies and souls never could be.
His hand was big. There were calluses on his palm and his fingertips were rough. But there was a gentleness in that touch.
She bent her fingers into his. A hesitant gesture.
She met his gaze. “It hurts so fucking much to think this happened.” His big hand closed over hers. “But don’t mistake my silence for not caring,” he whispered. “Please don’t do that.”
She was so used to commanders not caring, so used to them doing whatever it took to win. The honest pain she saw in his eyes melted her defenses. Heated her blood and drove the longing in her blood to a fevered need.
She didn’t think. She lifted her hand to cup his cheek. The stubble from his five o’clock shadow was a soft scrape against her palm. “You’re an admirable person, you know that?” she whispered.
He scoffed gently. “Not quite.” He didn’t look away. “But thank you for saying so.”
She took a shuddering breath and released it before she looked down at the packet, at the bleak and empty night she faced writing up the charges against a man who might never see the inside of a jail for what he’d done.
Everything was so fucking corrupted and dark. When she looked at Ben and saw him watching her, she felt like she’d brushed up against something…something good.
“This is probably going to make me the biggest fool in the world,” she whispered. “But I’d very much like to go somewhere else. With you.”
Ben went very still. His eyes darkened. His bottom lip parted from his top. “Why?” he whispered. His voice was rough and thick.
“Maybe I need to remember something good in the world tonight,” she said. “Will you come home with me?”
***
“Olivia.” He stepped close, too close. His shoulders blocked her view of the parking lot. They were secluded beneath a low willow tree. No one could see them.
She had time to change her mind. As she’d paid the bill and picked up her files, she could have changed her mind. But now, outside the restaurant, it wasn’t fear or uncertainty skittering over her skin.
It was arousal. Arousal that this man had followed her outside. That this man had backed her up against her car, his big body blocking out the world.
She wanted his touch. Wanted his hands on her, wanted his mouth.
Wanted to lose herself in the taste and touch and feel of him.
His lips hovered a breath from hers. Heat radiated from his skin. His breath mingled with hers but neither of them moved. A twisting, writhing dance of almost touches, of the barest caresses.
She dared to lift her gaze from that strong mouth that so often wore an easy grin to his eyes, those dark laughing eyes.
They weren’t laughing now. They were desperately serious, dark and hungry.
Now the barest space between them felt like an impassable chasm.
His fingertips brushed her cheek. The faintest touch. A kiss of sensation that traced pure electricity over her skin. Her breath caught in her throat. She swallowed and his gaze dropped to her neck. She was sensitive there. She almost closed her eyes and tipped her chin toward him. Almost.
For the life of her, she couldn’t say who moved first but between one moment and the next her top lip brushed against his. A whisper of sensation. A delicate gesture.
Those fingertips curled into her cheek. “Can I kiss you?” he whispered.
His words vibrated over her lips. A wicked sensation that promised pleasure with every stroke of his tongue.
It was Olivia who moved then. Olivia who opened her mouth and slid her tongue over his bottom lip to taste him.
As if waiting for her permission, he slanted his mouth over hers. This, this was what she had been waiting for. This, the tacit feel of his touch, of the powerful man who held her in both hands as though she was something precious. This man was what she craved, what she needed to push away the darkness of her job and the evil she fought. His tongue danced with hers but it was his body that pressed into her, his body that overwhelmed her.
Her arms slid around his neck and she arched against him, just a little. A hint of what she needed. A taste of what she wanted.
But common sense was an ugly reality that would not be ignored.
It was Olivia who leaned back. “Do you have condoms?”
He made a soft sound against her neck. His breath was hot on the exposed skin and then the cool night air licked at the damp trail he traced with his tongue. “It’s part of my BII.”
She smiled, nudging his lips with hers again. “BII?”
“Basic Issue Items. I brought a box of them into my orderly room for my joes to grab before they go out on the weekends.” He tugged her closer, his hands dancing on her hips, his lips sucking gently on her ear. His voice whispered over her skin until she wasn’t sure where he ended and she began. “You should have seen my first sergeant’s face.”
“Priceless?”
“I think he almost had a heart attack.” He shifted until his hands were on either side of her neck. The car was cold against her back. “Can we please stop talking about work?” He caught her earlobe between his teeth, nipping gently.
“Yes, please.” Her fingers spasmed against his sides.
He burned her then, branded her with a fierce kiss that rocked her to her very center, chasing away the last vestige of the darkness that had haunted her for the majority of the afternoon. Sucking, sipping kisses as he rocked gently against her, showing her with his body what he wanted. What she wanted.
What she craved.
She wanted mindless abandon. Passion and fury.
She felt him everywhere, his body hard where she was soft, demanding where she was a needy, hungry thing.
“Ben.” His name was a plea on her lips. A sensual demand.
He lifted his mouth from her neck. Cupped her cheeks in both hands. “Tell me what you want,” he whispered against her mouth.
Last chance, her brain whispered. Last chance to reclaim her sanity and walk away from making a huge mistake with this man.
Instead, she curled her fingers around his neck. Pulled his mouth down to hers.
“You,” she whispered. “I want you.”
ONE CLICK TAKE ME HOME NOW!
APPLE BOOKS | KINDLE | BARNES & NOBLE | KOBO | GOOGLE PLAY