I’ve been trying to get the words right to describe my first conference but it seems like nothing has stopped long enough for me to actually get them down. My agent wants another synopsis for a second book. I just sold another article to the RWA. In the last three days, I’ve written over 10000 words and I’m sitting here, staring at the book I so desperately need to finish and…
Nothing.
I’m not stuck. I know where the story is going. I know what comes next. I even have the scene partially sketched out in my brain. But as I sit here, I have a feeling inside me that I don’t know how to deal with. I don’t even know what to call it. I’m edgy, because everything is going so well in the writing field at the moment. I’m antsy because I get to stay at Fort Hood and take command in October and that is going to be the biggest challenge of my military career. I’m rung out about my daughter starting school again in a few weeks. I’m worried about doing it all when my husband deploys again.
I feel like I’m not going to sit still for the next two years.
I need to write another 5000 words today. I need to write an article for Empowering Parents. I need to go school clothes shopping and clean out my daughters’ old clothes. I need to schedule a DA Photo and take the local commander’s course. I need to get my command philosophy written and come up with a schedule for my first 30 days in command, to make sure that everyone gets counciled, that everyone understands my intent and that there is no doubt that even though I’m a junior captain, I’m still the commander. I’m nervous about meeting my first sergeant and signing into my new unit. I’m nervous about standing in front of that formation and taking the guidon.
When writers say they don’t have time to read your book, they’re not kidding. When I think about everything that I need to do, I’m a little crazy. There simply is no way to do it all. At least not all in one day.
So as I sit here, I think about everything I need to do, I’m going to do nothing. I’m going to go for a walk. It’s a hundred and four but I’m going for a walk. To clear my head and regain my focus and figure out a way to get back after it.