Book of the Month: TAKE ME HOME: Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Ben walked into the Bandit Company ops-his company-and noticed that everyone stilled as he walked through. No one approached. No one said anything but there was an undercurrent to the watchfulness. Almost as though they were waiting for the other boot to hit the floor.
This week was one for the record books. An entire battalion’s worth of commanders fired. Soldiers in jail, friends being accused of horrible things.
Ben didn’t want this job. He never had. He never wanted to balance the scales of his friends’ actions.
And yet, here he was.
Good times.
He stopped in the orderly room. All activity came to a grinding halt.
“It occurs to me that maybe the company probably should be called to attention?” Ben said. The ops sergeant glanced toward the commander’s office. Lights on. Looked like someone was home-oh joy. The former commander was there.
“That explains things,” Ben muttered.
Captain James P. Marshall the Third himself. Ben had to remind himself that Marshall was just another man, and not a good one at that. He was a bully and he was cruel.
The banality of Marshall’s cruelty, though, had permeated everything around him. None of the higher ups had a clue that Marshall had been poisoning the atmosphere across the entire battalion from the time he’d been a platoon leader through his time as a commander. That alone led Ben to wonder what the environment really was in this battalion for the soldiers who’d had to suffer under the yoke of Marshall’s shitty leadership.
Now? Karma had finally come through for him. Ben might not want to command but damn it, if doing so took Marshall’s power away from him? Oh, it was a beautiful thing. And this was a target of opportunity, one that did wonders for Ben’s shitty mood.
He walked into what was now his office and there was Marshall, sitting behind Ben’s desk. As if he was still in charge.
“I guess you didn’t get the memo about needing a new job?”
Marshall looked up, his jaw tense. “I’m here to brief you on the legal stuff.”
Ben smiled and it lit up the shadows around his heart. He’d been waiting for years for Marshall to get what he deserved, ever since Marshall had tried to get Escoberra and Ben fired after their outpost had been overrun. “So yeah. I’m gonna need you to clear out your desk.” He paused for dramatic effect. “And get the hell out of my company.”
The words felt strange and foreign on Ben’s tongue. His company. Words he once would have embraced. Words that now tasted bitter.
But seeing Marshall’s expression twitch made it all better.
“Do you want to know about these cases or not?”
“Not really much you can tell me, seeing how you haven’t done jack shit about them.” Ben folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the door. “You know, if it wasn’t for me having to clean up your mess, I would be exceptionally happy that you’ve been relieved.” He rubbed his hand over his jaw. “Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.”
“You always were a cowboy, Teague. Too idealistic to do what needed to be done. You should have fired Escoberra after your base got blown up, but instead you sacrificed your career for him.”
“Didn’t make a damn bit of difference, now did it,” Ben said mildly. As badly as he wanted to throw Marshall-physically-from his office, he figured he should probably refrain. Especially after the pissing contest with Major Hale in front of the battalion commander. “Looks like I get a chance to command after all.”
Marshall snorted. “You’re just going to fuck this up, too. You couldn’t make a hard decision to save your own ass back then; you think you’re going to be able to do this?”
Ben smiled. “I’ll do a better job than you. And I’ll do it without betraying everyone around me to save my own ass.”
“Mistakes were made on that mission,” Marshall snapped.
“Indeed they were. And I thought we were supposed to be responsible for our subordinates’ actions?”
“You don’t know the meaning of the word ’91responsible’,” Marshall said quietly.
“And you don’t know the meaning of the word ’91loyalty’.” He brushed a piece of lint from Marshall’s shoulder. “Now, get the fuck out of my office and go mourn the end of your career.”
Marshall’s smile was ice cold as he stood, an inch from Ben’s face. The peppermint sting of Copenhagen snuff filled Ben’s nose.
“You think this fiasco matters? I’m going to be reassigned to the Infantry Center at Fort Benning and I’ll be commanding a real infantry unit in less than six months and all of this heavy armored Cav bullshit can kiss my ass.”
Ben patted Marshall’s collar down. “Jimmy, Jimmy, what’s the weather on your world like? Because where I’m standing, you’ve been flagged by division headquarters. That means you’re stuck here at The Great Place until the investigations are complete. Which means that unless you’ve been giving the chief of staff of the Army hand jobs in your spare time, you’re not going anywhere until this is over. And these things tend to take a very, very long time.”
Marshall’s face turned an unhealthy shade of purple. “Fuck you, Teague.”
“You’re really not my type. Oh, and let’s not forget how many future high-powered officers come out of Cav. You can call it bullshit all day long, but your ticket is punched, sport. Daddy can’t save you. You might want to brush up on that resume. I hear they need check-out boys at Walmart.”
Marshall’s nostrils flared. He was getting ready to start screaming. Ben could see it in the vein pounding in Marshall’s forehead. Good. It would give him an excuse to throw his sorry ass out of the office.
“Before you blow a gasket, can I remind you of something?” Ben leaned close, close enough to see the five hairs on the edge of Marshall’s jaw that the other man had missed when he shaved this morning. “You’re in my office now. So get the fuck out.”
Marshall grabbed his headgear off the desk and slammed the door against the concrete wall as he stalked from the small office.
The stink of Marshall’s snuff hung in the air after he left. Ben badly needed some air freshener. Maybe a scented candle or something. He sighed and glanced at the chaos on his desk. He didn’t even have time to look at his e-mail, which was probably just as well-his inbox had probably already exploded with pointless garrison stuff that meant little in the grand scheme of more important things. Like the war.
It was probably just as well that the formal passing of the BlackBerry hadn’t occurred. It meant that Ben wasn’t tied to his e-mail. Yet.
He lifted one stack of files and skimmed the names written neatly on side tabs. Fifteen names. He’d be damned if he’d ask Marshall a single question about any of them. The soldiers and NCOs would help him figure it out.
Wouldn’t they? The way everyone had appeared incredibly busy when he’d walked through gave him pause. How bad were things down here in Bandit country?
He was going to have his work cut out for him. He’d never taken over for someone who’d destroyed the utter soul of an organization.
Fifteen soldiers out of a company of one hundred plus facing pending legal actions. That didn’t even count those already under investigation for a myriad of offenses, or the ones Ben didn’t even know about yet.
Ben sighed and sat down at his computer and laid his head on his desk.
Escoberra. Zittoro. Dear God, what the hell had happened to the soldiers he’d known?
He needed to call Escoberra’s wife and check on her. Carmen Escoberra had put up with a lot over the years but something had to have changed.
The woman who’d sent them care packages every week to make sure they had food couldn’t have changed so much that she would have called Child Protective Services.
Why hadn’t she called Ben?
He sat up, rubbing his hands over his face. Because Ben hadn’t been part of their lives for years now. Not since the Army had held Escoberra responsible for a bad attack and Ben had
failed to defend him.
Ben stared into the distance. Escoberra would never put his hands on his family. That much Ben knew.
So what the hell had happened?
Grabbing his hat, he knew there was only one way to find out.
He hoped Carmen was home.
***
“Ma’am?”
Olivia looked up from the pile of paperwork on her desk and saw a young woman standing in her doorway. Definitely not a soldier, judging by the civilian clothes and the youthful fullness of her cheeks. “Can I help you?”
Her eyes were wary. Guarded. “My name is Hailey Escoberra, ma’am. I was wondering if you were the person I needed to talk to about my dad?”
Olivia noticed Hailey favored her left arm, cradling it against her abdomen in a very subtle movement that Olivia might have missed if she hadn’t been paying attention.
“Sure. Come in and have a seat.”
On the spectrum of strange things, a visit from a soldier’s family member wasn’t unusual-except that it wasn’t normally kids that came to visit her. Usually, she met with spouses, begging for their husbands.
Sometimes, things ended up working out. Other times, far too often, they ended badly. Olivia blinked rapidly; the sight of this young woman in front of her mixed with memories of a little girl. They were not the same.
She took a deep breath, centering herself. “What can I do for you?”
“I want you to leave my dad alone,” Hailey said quietly. Her voice was soft yet filled with iron.
What had made this little girl so strong? Hell, she wasn’t a little girl. She was fifteen, if Olivia remembered the reports correctly.
She gripped the pen on her desk. “I’m not doing anything to your dad,” Olivia said quietly. There was never a good response to something like this.
Never.
Because no matter what she did or said, the person in the seat across from her would want something Olivia could not give them.
“He didn’t mean to hurt me. It was an accident and he’s sorry. Just leave him alone so he can go back to work and do his job.” Her voice wavered a little, just a little. Nothing more.
“Sometimes, the people in our lives don’t mean to hurt us,” Olivia said. “But that doesn’t make the pain any less real.”
Hailey’s dark eyes flashed. “I’m not stupid. Who do I need to tell to get the Army to leave my dad alone?” Her voice edged up a notch. Just a little, but it was enough to make Olivia’s stomach twist with nerves.
“Hailey, maybe you should talk to someone about your dad? I’m not really the right person…”
“They said you were the lawyer. They said you could make this go away.”
Olivia clicked the pen cap off. “I’m not sure who this ’91they’ is but they gave you wrong information.”
Hailey stood, still cradling her arm. “I don’t want any trouble for my dad. I thought the Army was supposed to care about families.”
“We do care.”
“Then leave my dad alone,” she said.
She didn’t stomp from the office but it was a close thing.
The part of Olivia that wasn’t jaded and cynical admired Hailey’s love and devotion for her father.
The part of Olivia that had already seen this movie a time or two knew how it was likely
to end.
All of the love in the world couldn’t save Hailey’s dad if he was hitting her.
Love betrayed was a terrible, terrible thing.
She wished she was wrong. She wished she had more faith in the power of love to heal men like Escoberra, who hurt everyone around them.
But she didn’t.
Because she’d seen the worst of it too many times.
And she’d be damned if she would leave Hailey to face this alone. Because Olivia knew all about facing these things alone.
She’d lived it.
***
Ben had never considered himself a hero but he’d never thought he was a coward, either. But as he sat in Escoberra’s driveway in front of the little house in the Comanche III housing area, his stomach writhed and knotted. As he listened to some stupid shit on the radio, he struggled to find the courage to go and knock on that front door.
It was the second longest walk of his life.
Part of him hoped that Carmen wasn’t home. That he could absolve himself of his sense of guilt and say that he’d tried.
But she opened the door.
Her eyes went wide when she saw him.
Then she opened her arms and Ben stepped into her loving embrace. She wasn’t much older than he was but she was more a mother to him than his own had been.
“You’ve been away too long,” she whispered, patting his back.
He squeezed her tightly. “I know,” he said. “I’m sorry.”
She released him, patting his cheek. “Don’t let it happen again. We missed you. Come in. Have something to drink?”
“Water’s fine.”
The house was impeccably neat, just like it always was. It smelled warm, like home.
But there was a shadow here now. And that shadow was the reason Ben was there.
“I suppose you want to talk about what happened?” Carmen asked, handing him a glass.
“No point in delaying the obvious,” he said. “What happened?”
“I don’t know. I had gone to sleep because I was supposed to be at work early. The next thing I know, I hear screaming and crying. Hailey is on the floor and Jose is holding a towel to her shoulder.” Carmen busied her hands in the sink, washing dishes Ben was reasonably certain were already clean. “Neither of them will tell me what happened.” She looked over at him, her eyes hard. “I won’t talk to the police, Ben. Don’t ask me to.”
“I wasn’t going to. I just… wanted to know what happened. If he-”
“Is it true you’re his commander now?” Carmen asked, stacking a plate in the drying rack.
“I am. I don’t want to be, but I am.”
“Then you can fix this,” she said.
“I’m going to try,” he said softly. Because it was the truth.
He didn’t know what had happened but if Carmen still had faith in her husband, then damn it, Ben would believe in him, too.
He didn’t know how he was going to protect his former platoon sergeant but he was damn sure going to try.
***
Nine o’clock and Olivia was finally ready to call it a night. She’d made decent progress on the packets today after Hailey had left the office. Despite that, she was running on an empty stomach and the tension in her neck had finally reached the point where she had to stop and take some Motrin.
All she had left to do was organize the files for tomorrow and she could head home. She still had more work but she could do that on her couch.
She pulled out the first file and sucked in a deep breath. Escoberra.
She paused, breathing hard. She hadn’t shown Ben the pictures. She could have. Maybe she should have. Maybe confronting him with the reality of his sergeant’s actions would make him less reluctant to do what needed to be done.
It had been so hard reconciling the photographs from the hospital with the brave young girl who’d come to her office today. She’d worn makeup to cover the bruises and had favored her damaged arm, but that young woman had gone through hell that night.
She needed to follow up with Teague to make sure he’d done everything he was supposed to do to protect Hailey and her family. Too many victims were left to fend for themselves because commanders refused to believe their men were capable of this kind of violence.
She wanted to get more aggressive. She wanted to tell commanders what they would do instead of what they should do.
But she’d learned her lesson. She would follow the letter of the law exactly.
She would never lose another case because of her own zealousness.
No matter how much she believed in Escoberra’s guilt, she couldn’t push beyond her legal responsibilities.
She closed the folder and made notes for the next day then headed out. The first five cases were all from Ben’s company. She set a calendar reminder to follow up on the packets she’d given Ben.
She’d seen commanders “lose” packets before.
She’d developed tricks for that, too. She knew how to force the system to work. There were few things she hadn’t seen.
She stepped into the hallway. The headquarters were all but abandoned at this late hour.
The last thing she expected to see was Ben Teague, stepping out of the battalion commander’s office.
She didn’t want to notice the breadth of his shoulders or the rough edge of his jaw. She might not want to notice but her body did. Her blood warmed as he approached.
“You’re here late,” he said mildly.
She didn’t miss the fatigue in his eyes and damn it, she didn’t like the way it pulled at her. The way it made her fingers twitch to smooth those tired lines away.
“Pretty standard night for me, all things considered,” she said, accepting the tentative peace offering.
What the hell was she doing? She didn’t even like Ben Teague, and now she was suddenly making trite conversation in the hall?
“No family waiting at home for you?” he asked, falling into step with her as she headed out the door.
“Nah. Not with these hours,” she said. “You?”
“Same.” He held the door for her. “Are we really having a normal conversation right now?”
She almost smiled. “Looks that way.”
“Huh. Miracles will never cease.”
She said nothing in response. It was too easy to take his point of view, to forget why she did what she did, in order to be accepted as one of them.
But part of her lot in life was to remain on the outside. Fighting the good fight.
She’d never counted on that meaning she would always be alone but there you had it.
She couldn’t let sympathy or any other emotion she might feel for Ben get in the way of doing her job.
Or making sure he did his.
Because command was a marathon, not a sprint. And so was being the lawyer in a brigade combat team. But that didn’t soothe the ache pulsing through her blood as she stood a little too close. She caught a hint of something clean and crisp and warm.
“Why are you here so late?” she asked after a while.
“Had to brief the boss on some stuff.”
“Life of a commander, huh?”
“Something like that,” he said. “Wish I could remember if I have food in my fridge. I think I have cookies.”
She laughed at the unexpected comment. “Cookies? What are you, twelve?”
“Don’t underestimate the power of cookies to soothe a bad day,” he said. His mouth curled at the edges and she noticed the creases at the corners of his lips. His mouth was wide, his bottom lip fuller than any man’s should be.
“Do you always make jokes?” she asked.
His smile crooked up on one side. “Much cheaper than therapy,” he said lightly. “Though I know a therapist now so…”
“Emily speaks highly of you,” Olivia said. This easy conversation was the first normal conversation she’d had since reporting to the unit. It was nice.
It was something deeply human.
It was something she missed.
“I can’t imagine why,” Ben said.
She grinned. “I have more faith in her judgment than that.”
“Is that a tacit vote of confidence?”
“It’s only day two,” she said softly. “Let’s save any votes of confidence until I know you better.”
Ben laughed. “That’s probably a good call. I don’t tend to live up to expectations often.”
She tipped her chin, studying him in the fading light. “That’s an odd thing to say.”
He shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He jerked his chin toward her briefcase. “Taking work home with you?”
“You don’t?”
“I’m planning on showering and not sleeping.”
She frowned as he looked out over the parade field across the road. The lights overhead glinted across the freshly watered grass. A single beam of light glittered over the Cav Memorial. He sniffed and looked away.
“You don’t sleep?” she asked.
“Not much.”
Silence lingered after his comment, heavy and thick with awareness of this man. She wanted to ask more, to delve into his reasons for not sleeping, but instead, she said nothing. She didn’t know what to say or how to deal with this personal side of Ben Teague.
This side of Ben that was warm and solid and infinitely male. There was an easy tension about him just then. A tension that drew her closer when she should be going the other way.
Her job was hard enough without having to overcome personal bias.
“So listen.” He palmed his keys, looking edgy. Wary. His voice was deep and thick as he spoke. “I went by the Escoberras’ today.”
Her breath caught in her throat. “That’s interesting, because Hailey Escoberra came by my office today.”
He raised both eyebrows. “How was she?”
“She seemed to be doing fine. She wanted us to leave her dad alone.” She folded her arms over her chest. “How is his wife?”
“Shaky but okay. She wants her husband home.” He met her gaze then, his eyes dark and filled with an unspoken torment that she could only guess at.
“You can’t. You have to maintain the restraining order.”
The muscles in his neck tensed. “What’s the point? They want him home.”
“This is one of those rare cases where what the family wants doesn’t trump what the Army says, Ben.” She caught herself a moment too late. His first name slipped from her lips, crossing a boundary she’d set for herself with these men.
There could be no first name basis with him. Or any of them, for that matter.
But especially not Ben.
He looked away, avoiding her eyes. She studied him closely. “What are you hiding?” she whispered, more to herself than him.
“Nothing.” He rolled his keys in his hand. “I’ll talk to you later.”
She expected him to fight. She expected the anger and defiance she’d seen earlier.
So when he met her gaze, her heart did an unexpected flip in her throat. She stood there in the silence-searching, probing, seeking answers in his eyes that he would not trust her with. It was the lack of trust she saw looking back at her that nearly broke her.
Who had crushed this man’s faith in those around him?
She almost reached for him. Almost asked him who had broken him.
But Ben turned away before she could summon the courage to span the chasm between them, breaking the spell and leaving her there alone in the nearly dark parking lot.
She watched him walk away, fading into the night before he climbed into his truck. The truck didn’t move for the longest time and she wondered if he was watching her.
She headed toward her own car and the empty, quiet house that awaited her. Being close to other people had never been her strong point. She told herself it was because she was too busy worrying about work to unwind and relax in the bedroom, but the truth was darker. It always had been. Maybe it was because she’d been overweight and awkward as a teen, but that was a comfortable lie she told herself to avoid the painful memories lurking in the shadows of her dreams. They were always there, always threatening to twist into a too familiar nightmare if she gave them a chance. But none of that knowledge could shake the loneliness that snuck up on her at moments like this-moments when there was a spark of connection, a hint of something more.
Something more that she could never have. She sighed heavily.
Maybe she could get a cat. Maybe a fish.
But that felt a little too melodramatic. She smiled, thinking of Emily, who finally had Reza back from rehab. God, but she was happy for her friend. If anyone deserved happiness, it was those two. They were such an odd couple but she’d never seen Emily happier than when she was with the big sergeant.
She entered the quiet house, turning the radio on to a quiet country song as she left her files in the kitchen. She turned on the shower, letting steam fog up the mirror.
She didn’t look down at her body as she stripped off the weight of the day and left her uniform in a pile near the sink. She didn’t look in the mirror.
She didn’t need to see the scars on her body to know they were there. They would always be there, a constant reminder that people would always let you down.
The scars tracing over her ribs no longer ached but the memories threatened to morph into something darker as she thought of Escoberra and his daughter.
Hailey thought she wanted her father home. What she needed, though, was an advocate: someone to stand for her when she couldn’t stand for herself. Olivia breathed deeply as painful memories crashed over her, her scars throbbing as she saw again that lost little girl standing in the flashing lights of the ambulance.
No one had stood up for Olivia when her own father had tripped the final line.
No one had believed her when she’d first gone to the police. The officer had told her she shouldn’t put marks on herself like that. She hadn’t gone back a second time.
She should have been happy when her father had finally left her alone. But she wasn’t.
Because it meant that she was alone.
Always alone.
He’d loved her. She knew that, just as Hailey knew her dad loved her.
But love wasn’t enough when the rage exploded.
She stepped into the shower, letting the heat sluice over her body, washing the memories from her flesh.
The house was silent when she stepped out of the shower some time later.
Always silent.
She dressed and padded to her kitchen, ignoring the lingering ache in her ribs. Funny, she’d once thought the pain would eventually stop.
But it hadn’t. And in the silence, the scars on her ribs throbbed as old memories surfaced and reminded her that no, she could not fail.
***
Ben watched her walk away, her directive to keep Escoberra away from his family echoing in his ears.
She didn’t know he’d told Escoberra to go home.
And she didn’t need to know.
He knew in his soul that Escoberra hadn’t hurt Hailey.
Keeping him away from his family was the worst thing right then and his meeting earlier with Carmen had confirmed his decision. So was hearing that Hailey had gone to see Olivia.
The Army was wrong on this one. The restraining order was meant to give people a chance to calm down. Escoberra was calm.
His family wanted him home and damn it, what was the point of this job if Ben couldn’t make that happen? He’d take the ass chewing if the battalion commander found out. But he wasn’t going to.
Ben hadn’t been able to keep Escoberra out of trouble when their base had gotten overrun but damn it, if he could help him now, that’s exactly what he was going to do.
If Ben was going to command, damn it, he was going to make some decisions.
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