Jessica Scott

One of the questions I’m often asked by readers is “What’s your favorite of all your books?” Which 
is a bit like asking a mother to name her favorite child and impossible to answer.

That said, I’ll admit that The Homecoming, the first in my Shelter Bay series, is very personal to me. Partly because it’s set on the magnificent Oregon coast, where my husband once bought me a bag of salt-water taffy, then proposed. Decades later, not only is the candy store still there, I’m so glad I said yes! Combining my hobbies of photography and scrapbooking, I created a video virtual tour of Shelter Bay on my website at http://joannross.com. If that red-roofed house on the tour looks familiar, it’s because Signet’s art department used it on The Homecoming’s cover.

Another question I get a lot is why I chose to write about military heroes. That’s a complex question, but one reason is that I’ve always been a sucker for a guy in uniform. When I was growing up, nearly every male I knew got drafted into the military. Even Elvis didn’t get a pass. After going through Army boot camp, he was sent to Germany, where he met a teenage Priscilla, and well, we all know how that turned out.

Along with several military men and women we’ve “adopted” through Soldiers Angels over the years, we also have two nephews in the Army — Patrick, who completed two Iraq tours and Kyle, who’s already “done” Iraq and is currently serving as a medevac in Afghanistan. Needless to say, having them in harm’s way these past years has made my High Risk books, and now my Shelter Bay stories, extremely personal.

Ongoing concern for them is also partly why I’ve returned to my more emotional family-centric romance roots after the murder and mayhem of romantic suspense. Since writing about serial killers eventually gets depressing, I’m so happy to be back telling feel-good stories about good things happening to nice, but flawed people.

Another reason I like to write about military heroes (along with a military heroine in Shattered) is because they possess something that seems to be in short supply these days – honor.

I firmly believe that a man capable of committing to something outside himself can also commit to a mate and, as a woman, I find that really appealing

The hero I like to write about doesn’t have any personal desire to create conflict or aggression, but he does possess an unwavering code that has him not hesitating to put himself in harm’s way and risk being wounded — physically, emotionally, or both — to protect, defend, and fight for what’s right. He’s self-disciplined, decisive (though he often has to battle his own internal demons, as The Homecoming’s Sex Douchett does) and along with an integrity as tough as his body, he’s unwaveringly loyal and self-confident enough to appreciate and support the equally strong woman who manages to win his guarded heart.

Many readers might be surprised to learn that I’ve been writing military heroes since I wrote a male point-of-view romance about a former Vietnam POW in the mid ‘80s, which was a groundbreaking subject for the genre and still remains on many must-read lists. Since then, though I don’t always mention the fact, most of the heroes in my books have been veterans.

One of the things I’m enjoying exploring in my Shelter Bay books is life after war. As hopefully more and more of our troops begin returning home, there are some wonderful stories waiting to be told, and I can’t wait to write some of them.

In The Homecoming, both Sax Douchett and Kara Conway have returned to their small coastal hometown seeking healing and closure. The ocean has always provided a shelter from emotional storms for me. It’s where I go to unwind and put my life in perspective, which is why I named my fictional coastal town Shelter Bay. Do you have some special place where you feel at peace? A place that, at least in your heart, feels like home?

To celebrate the book’s release day, three people who respond (chosen at random), will receive an autographed copy of The Homecoming.

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There are few things that I know about myself more than the fact that I’m always changing my mind about some things. Clothes, I’m good. I wear the same things: t-shirts, jeans, casual pants and flip flops. I know what colors look good on me and my closet is filled with blacks, browns, whites and khakis. Color is hard for me so I don’t do it.

The same thing does not go, however, for my website. I’m constantly looking for new themes, new changes, something that says me, without having to pay someone to help me figure that out. Call me cheap but honestly, if I’d paid someone to come up with as many different variations on my site as I’ve had by now, they would be really wealthy and I? Well, I’d still be looking to change it.

So when the fab Michelle McGinnis of Friendly Web Consulting told me about a Firefox plugin that would help me learn how to customize CSS sheets for my blog, I was excited. I spent 2 days searching for themes and I won’t tell you how many I downloaded. But I deliberately stuck with free because, well, I’m always changing my mind and why pay for something that’s going to be a short term investment when I can figure out how to change things up myself and keep it interesting.

I found several themes that I really liked and made necessary changes. I spent 1 day working on a theme that I liked but ultimately didn’t stick with. Then I found the current one. I kind of like it. It’s busy but different, especially for me. I tried to stay away from browns and greys (but downloaded several that I plan on playing with later). Essentially, I was able to find this theme, change the font size (just for you , Bill☺) and move on with my life.

But when I get stuck on something, ultimately, I have to stay with it until I beat it. I used to play Nintendo (I know, I’m dating myself) but I would stay up for days until I beat the game. I’d obsess until it was over. The same thing happens with me on my website and ultimately on my writing projects. My fab critique partner told me that I’m married to my projects, that this is a business and that I need to be willing to set them aside. But my brain doesn’t work like that. When a project takes hold, I end up coming back to it again and again until I’m able to work on it. My War’s Darkest Series may never be picked up by a big publisher (I haven’t given up hope that this series will eventually be published) but that doesn’t mean I’m giving up on it.

It just means I’ll set it aside for a while until I’m able to write the stories that need to be told. Because ultimately, this is a business and if I write just for myself, I’m not going to sell. I’ll still write them, but I have to be willing to dig into a project that will, publishers willing, sell.

As I get further into my current project, I’m able to keep it in the forefront of my mind. But I had to beat my latest obsession – my website – out of my mind first. So now, it’s back to work.

I’d love to hear what you think of the new design. But don’t worry about hurting my feelings. I’m absolutely certain it won’t last more than a few months.

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So here’s the thing. Today, I finished rewriting the book that we’ll just call Shane’s novel for the 5th or maybe the 6th time. It’s had so many titles but the one you all have heard me talk about as is War’s Darkest Fear.

But I did something different this time. I wrote the synopsis for it and sent it to my agent, who didn’t like it and subsequently passed on it. But I rewrote it anyway (another story entirely).

Essentially, it was just to see if I could. Because as I sit here and write these words, I am about to bare my writer’s soul: I don’t plot. Or at least, I didn’t. I have 11 novels under my belt (don’t laugh, no they’re not published and yes they need revisions) and I didn’t plot a single one of them. I rewrote 5 of them and if you count the multiple rewrites of Shane’s story, I’ve rewritten upwards around 12 books. Or the same book 6 times, however you choose to look at it.

But see, now that I actually have an agent who, oh I don’t know, wants to work with me on an actual writing career, I kind of have to listen to him. So after he KOd Fear (and I didn’t completely listen but that’s another story) I sent him something like 8 couple paragraph pitches for story ideas because my fab writer mommy and critique partner kicked me in the ass and said you are married to your ideas. Get over it if you want to sell and stay published.

So I sent him my ideas and waited. He came back with 2 that he thought were marketable. And he didn’t comment on the rest (let me tell you that I feel the burn for those stories he passed on. They’re in my blood but maybe, just maybe, I’ll listen to the guy who knows the market, right?). But he picked up on one of the books that I hadn’t written. I’d bounced the idea around in my head a few weeks ago when I should have been writing and jotted down a synopsis.

It was an ugly synopsis but I sent it off to my CP to see what she thought (I’ve completely stolen her synopsis formats, by the way. I heart her). She came back with thoughts which I absorbed. Then I started emailing back and forth with my agent about the idea (we might have had a phone conversation, I honestly can’t remember). So I found a way into the story and I (brace yourself) wrote the synopsis.

Now this is the girl who doesn’t plot, right? I usually start a book with a scene that jumps out at me but by the time I get into rewrites, that opening scene doesn’t stay. And that’s okay.

But for me to plot out an entire book in a synopsis? Unheard of. I tried it once before and I never wrote the book. But I wrote it, sent it to CPs who pointed out issues, fixed and sent to agent. And waited. Not long, mind you. My agent is fast, so I’m a happy girl. I get the call Monday for a file I sent him on Friday.

The first thing he said was, I don’t normally read a 13 page synopsis (what I sent him). And my heart sank a little. I figured this was it, he doesn’t like the fiction ideas, I’m agentless again. But then he says, you really had me on the edge of my seat. You essentially wrote a short story outlining what happens. Most synopses are outlines or are too bogged down in detail but they way you wrote it, you had me hooked.

So I’m like sitting in my driver’s seat (I’d pulled over) doing a little happy dance that he liked it. Really liked it. And basically, he told me to get to work, he wanted a draft in about 2 or 3 months (thank God I can actually write fast but we’ll see how this goes).

So I’m sitting here tonight, getting ready to open up a new Scrivener file for this new project. And it’s not a rewrite. It’s not characters that I’ve already taken through two or three drafts and know so well they’re practically real for me. I’m looking at the blank page and I already know what happens in my story. Rewriting Shane’s story over the last couple weeks was really, really easy for me because I’d plotted that sucker out. Now, this doesn’t mean that my draft is ready to go on to the editor who wants to see it. It needs revisions (and that doesn’t mean checking for commas) but for once, I honestly think I’ve got a draft that doesn’t require major rewrites.

But I’m staring at this open Scrivener project and I’m at a loss. I’ve got the story in my head. I’ve got the characters. But for me, this is uncharted territory. I’ve completely reversed my process. I write the book, figure out the story, then write the book again. And again. And possibly again. But this time, I’ve figured out the story (I think).

Now, I just have to write the book.

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So today, Twitter and the media are all up in arms about comments Gen McCrystal made to a Rolling Stone reporter. Watching the commentary on MSNBC today, you would have thought Gen McCrystal had committed high treason.

Here’s the thing and it is universally true regardless of what profession you are in: Watch what you say and who you say it to.

Early in my military career as a young private and specialist, I made an off hand remark to a sergeant about one of the key leaders in my platoon, never dreaming he would go back and tell said key leader. What followed was a significant emotional event for me in learning the lesson that a, I was wrong for the comment and said key leader turned into a true mentor for me, but b (and more importantly) watch what you say.

It’s a lesson that has stuck with me over the years and one that I have internalized strongly. People around you are probably not your friends and even if they are, their loyalty may be to someone else. Over the years, I have made many aquaintances and few true friends. The friends I do have, however, I trust implicitly. Even then, I sometimes censor myself.

Call it distrust, I call it prudence. When I was having trouble with my former agent, there were two people I talked to about how I felt and what I was going through and I trust those two individuals to keep it between us, not shared on message boards and other writing groups. Everyone else got a censored version and that’s the way it should be. I shouldn’t be posting on my blog all the dirty details and I won’t, because its unprofessional.

When I was having problems with my previous commander, I posted things here that I knew might get back to him. I never posted anything that I would be uncomfortable explaining and, there too, the thoughts and emotions were self censored. On PBS, there are so many things I said in real life that I never would post online.

In developing my public persona, I am highly aware that everything I say and do will be held against me. This is a key thing to remember as I head off to the RWA National conference next month. There will be gossip and drinking. There will be private conversations, but during all of that, in the back of my mind, will be the reminder that I am ‘on’. Even there, when I’m going as a writer and not as a soldier, I am still a soldier and I am still being scrutinized as such.

So I will watch what I say and who I say it to. Just like always, because I would hate for an offhand remark or six to be turned into a public spectacle.

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Yeah, yeah, I know I said I wasn’t going to be online much as I’m in a self enforced deadline and MUST work if I ever hope to make writing, oh, I don’t know, a career.

But as I was driving to work today, something about my conversation with my old brigade commander a couple of weeks ago struck me. Actually, it hit me in the head. But first, a tangent.

I’m a soldier. That doesn’t mean that being a soldier and being a girlie girl are mutually exclusive, it just means that for me, I’m more comfortable in combat boots than high heels. Yesterday, I registered for the RWA National conference in Orlando. Now, for those that are part of the fantastic Austin RWA group, I usually show up in uniform because I leave straight from work to get down to Austin in a reasonable amount of time (I’ve been terrible about going this year and I’m trying to get better). But I always sit with my back to the door and I’m almost always terrible uncomfortable.

See, I’m surrounded by women. Great women. Awesome women who adopted me while I was deployed last year and sent me packages every single month. They didn’t forget about me when I fell of the planet for a while when I was dealing with some personal issues. They are fantastic.

And yet, I’m awkward and unsure of myself every time I step into the room. I worry that I’ll swear too much or be too impatient or say something that might be perfectly reasonable to me but strike a civilian as completely horrible. And I desperately don’t want to offend any of them because they are an awesome group of ladies.

But to be honest, my entire adult life has been spent surrounded by men. There are a few women scattered throughout the formation but by and large, I’m one of the few girls. So even though I wear makeup in uniform, I don’t wear much. I don’t want guys to look at me and see a girl, I want them to see a soldier. And even though the first thing they DO see is a girl, they don’t see a girlie girl and when I open my mouth, it’s obvious that I am a soldier first.

As I get ready to go to RWA, I realize that I am going to have to be on guard. I’m going to have to polish the turd, so to speak. To learn to have entire conversations without swearing, even when I’m relaxed.

Do you have any freaking idea how hard that is going to be? Oh and it says on the website business casual. Um, I own jeans. And t-shirts. And flip flops because when I’m chasing my kids around the zoo, heels aren’t exactly what I would call functional (I am, however, in awe of women who do decide to go to the zoo in high heels but I wonder if they’ve taken pain medication before hand?).

That being said, every time I go to ARWA, I’m glad I went because I learn a little more about how to relax and how to be a little more of a girl. I won’t be a soldier forever. At some point I’m going to have to get reacquainted with my feminine side.

And apparently, that was supposed to start the moment I commissioned. When my former brigade commander gave me some of his valuable time for mentorship, he pointed out that I still have some of my NCO tendencies. He asked me how many times he’d sworn during our conversation and I couldn’t honestly think of any. Then he asked how many I had. And I flushed but he said it was fine because we had a relationship. I wouldn’t talk like that if I was talking to the division commander and he was right.

So as I move further into my transition as an officer AND as a writer, I realize that I have to find ways to be a little less crass, a little more polished. I have to swear a lot less and find a ton more patience.

In essence, I have to start polishing the turd.

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So once more I find myself at a cross roads in my writing career, trying to find a way forward with something that will sell. Hell at this point, I’m thrilled to have sold a freakin article.

If anyone had suggested to me that I would still not only be unsold at this point (4 years and 11 manuscripts later) I would have said no way. It CAN’T be that hard. And to be fair, of all 11 manuscripts, only 2 have gone out (and quite honestly, neither should have but I couldn’t see it at the time).

See here’s the thing. At one point in every writer’s career, but more than likely before the honesty truck has hit them, they all think their stuff is brilliant (raises hand). Course, I don’t think I’m a crappy writer but I can honestly sit here and tell you that writing fiction is a world different from writing nonfiction and I’ve learned an incredible amount in the last 4 years. Until I could look at my manuscript and truly see the issues there, I wasn’t ready to go.

Hell, I might still not be. I’m not giving up, but I am trying something new.

Brace for it.

I’m trying synopses. Before I write the book.

While that might not surprise those of you who plot, when I sit down and write, I’m definitely a seat of the pants, lets see where the story takes me kind of girl. The end result? I throw the whole thing out and start over, often with nothing more than a single scene and character names. That’s it.

That’s time consuming. In Iraq last year, I rewrote all 4 of my military series (have not revised any of them) because the originals were all over the place. I have no idea what the second drafts look like because I haven’t gone back and looked at them. Funny thing about writing a series, if the first one don’t sell, the rest probably won’t either. But that’s not where the honesty comes in.

I’m sitting here today waiting on feedback from my agent on ideas. Blurbs if you will for what he thinks might be saleable. Because what I don’t want to do is spend another 2 years writing a book that may or may not fit the market and may or may not sell. I’m willing to do that, if that’s what it takes, but right now, I’m hoping he’ll look at my ideas and go ‘write this one’. The reason I sent him the idea sheet is because my amazingly brutal critique partner basically laid it out for me.

She said ‘you are married to this idea. I’ve got a ton of boxes filled with ideas that my agent said won’t sell.’

And wow, was she right on the money. I’ve spent the last few months working on my paranormal, my end of the world, apocalypse book that plays to my military strengths and my religious studies background (and my perennial obsession with the apocalypse). But if it doesn’t sell, what good is it? I love it but I’m hoping to someday make a living at writing, right? I mean, that’s what I’m telling the IRS, so I think it kind of has to be true.

So if I want to write for a living, guess what? I need to write something that sells. And I can’t justify spending time on a project that is essentially a hobby (granted, I LOVE this story but still).

But the brutal honesty came in the form of my critique partner, lovingly and harshly telling me “get over it.”

Sucks but its true. We have a different way of saying it in the army: suck it up and drive on. So now, I’m waiting, hopeful that all of my ideas don’t suck. Because if I’m willing to suck it up for this long, I can’t very well ignore the honesty that forces me to face reality? I’m a pragmatist. Which means I’m waiting to hear back from my agent and we’ll see where we go from there.

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Life lessons, the kind that make you reevaluate where you stand and what you’re heading for are never easy. They don’t come with hearts and flowers and gently suggest you try something else.

They are what we call in the army (and possibly in the civilian world) significant emotional events.

Yesterday was one of those for me. I was reeling, not just from the inability to sell my book but also finding out my master’s degree was junk. So everything I’d done toward 2 particular goals were basically shot down yesterday.
There’s a lesson to be learned here. I’m not exactly sure what it is yet but there certainly has to be a reason that several doors slammed shut in my face.

I’m a firm believer in I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing wherever it is that I find myself.

So for whatever reason, I wasn’t meant to sell this book. I wasn’t meant to use my MS for what I’d hoped.

Another path will open. I just have to figure out what it is when it presents itself to me. Wallowing in self pity (as evidenced by yesterday’s double blog posts and subsequent pathetic tweets) is healthy but only for a minute.

Then its time to pick up, dust yourself off, pull up your boots and get back after it. Not sure what ‘it’ is at the moment, but something will come of it. I booked a room at the Dolphin for July, in case our plans involve us being able to go to RWA Nationals this year. I’m going to drive on with my fiction book Resurrection because I’m about halfway through revisions (major rewrites if we’re being honest) but I think it might be halfway to decent (we’ve gone this route before).

And I’ll relook the proposal and see if I can’t make changes to the plan and get the book out there in a different form. No major life altering decisions, even today when I’ve slept on it and life looks a little better.

But at the very least, I’ve dusted myself off, laced up my boots and gotten back after it.

Only time will tell what exactly ‘it’ is.

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Well, I received the long anticipated ethics review and the short version is my book is dead if I want to get paid for it.

I can write it for free all day long but so long as I’m active duty, I cannot receive a single dime for it.

Wait for it.

Sigh.

So that kills that small dream. I honestly thought I’d written a proposal that met the requirements. Why else would I have gone out with it? I mean, crap, yeah, lets write a book proposal that has no hope in hell of selling and waste a whole bunch of people’s time.

Um no.

I’m pretty disappointed right now. Yep, I’ve even shed a tear or two. It’s not that I can’t write the book. But how can I justify spending time on a project that is going to take as much time as this? And there will be costs associated with writing it. Remember, I’d have to use all publicly available information, which means if I wanted in to Lexus Nexus, I’d have to pay for it and I couldn’t honestly claim it was an investment b/c I would go into it knowing there was no possibility of getting any money back.

Yes, this is about the money. Yes, I’ve spent the last 4 years working on becoming a writer because someday, I’d like to get out of the Army and write full time. That involves a paycheck but the long term goal is not something for me to just throw aside for the short term gain.

Apparently, my little dream of writing a few books while I was on active duty and building my reader base was nothing more than a fantasy. The lawyer said I can write a memoir, so there’s hope for that but it means essentially scrapping the current project as it stands.

So I’ve got some choices to make but I’m not doing that right now while I’m still reeling from the news. I’m not going to buck up against the Army because this is my career we’re talking about and as much as I’m looking forward at my life beyond the Army, that day is still far down the road.

Right now, all I can say is…shit, this sucks.

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The very best resource I’ve found since become a writer is Psychology Today. Not only does this magazine help with fictional characterizations, but I’ve also taken a good hard look at some issues and been able to apply lessons to real life in the Army.
This month, there was an article in there about a book called The Invisible Gorilla. The premise of the book revolves around expectations and when people are directed to look for one thing in a room, in over half the cases, they completely miss the fact that there’s a gorilla there.

This has huge implications, both for fiction and for real life. When have you read a book with a major plot element plain to see to everyone but the characters and when they finally do figure out that what they needed was right in front of them, you feel cheated? Or when a story arc builds around a miscommunication? Have you ever been involved in a massive fight that could have been avoided had one party simply been able to say wait, we’re miscommunicating here?

Exactly. It’s easy to spot these problems in other people’s fiction but damn near impossible to see in our own. When it comes to real life, we’re just as blind sided by these illusions. But the blind spot isn’t just when dealing with an inability to really see.
I read a quote somewhere that most people aren’t ever actively engaged in listening, they’re planning what they’re going to say next. How much do we miss by not tuning in to what people are truly saying. When we aren’t actively listening, we miss key body language cues, voice inflection and all these other elements that tune us in to what others truly mean.

The blind spot also, however comes into play in the military in a HUGE way. We base most of our assumptions about individuals based on 3 things: rank, race and gender. A male major is assumed to have base of knowledge that a male lieutenant is not. A female private is going to be stereotyped first, assessed on performance second. This is in part due to stereotypes and bias that we all carry within us but also based on our expectations. The expectation that a major is a person of authority.

Why else would Nidal Hasan have been able to walk right up to a gathering of soldiers and start shooting. We never expected an officer, a field grade to do something like that. In our military, our expectations are that young gangbangers cause the problems and these individuals are almost always in the lower enlisted ranks. Before anyone accuses me of using a race based term, I’m not. There is growing evidence to suggest that white power gangs are sending young members in to learn military training.

But it is our expectations most days that prevent us from seeing the truth that walks among us. If there is a staff sergeant who walks around hugging all the E4 and below, but he does so with a smile on his face, does that make him a potential sexual harassment offender. But he’s so nice, the argument may go. What about the quiet guy in the corner? Is he just quiet or is he hiding some dark secret in his basement? What about the weirdo who believes he has a cloak of invisibility that keeps him from being shot on guard duty?

In describing all of these people, my expectations of them have colored how I describe them. As you read this, your expectations are colored by my words so that if you ever met them, you would be looking for the weirdo or the creepy guy. You might never see the true person because of these expectations.

In the end of it all, it is very hard to see what we most times don’t know we can’t see. It’s critical, both as a writer and a leader, to seek a trusted second opinion. Almost always, they will see something that you did not. Once they mention it, it may seem glaringly obvious.

But you’d never have seen it – whatever ‘it’ is- without asking for a second opinion and actively looking for the gorilla in the room.

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Twilight was Stephanie Meyer’s first book. She pitched it to Judy Reamer, who snapped it up and the rest, as they say is history. Allison Brennan’s first sale The Prey debuted on the NY Times Bestseller list.

Dude, we all want to be that guy. But for every writer that it does happen to, there are thousand more still stuck in the slush pile.

I’m willing to bet that every single writer looks at that first book and goes oh yeah, this is the one, baby. And when it doesn’t get immediately snapped up for a bajillion dollar advance, movie deal and foreign rights, well, then publishing sucks and they don’t know what they’re missing out on.

Welcome to reality. Publishing is hard to break into. Regardless of how much ‘crap’ you’ve read, someone read the same book, liked it, offered on it and put it into print. Part of the reason that publishing is so hard to break into is that you have to find that one yes in a pile of no’s that can feel higher than Mount Everest. Writing is easy.

Writing something that sells?

Not so much.

The first writer’s group I ever stumbled on had several unpublished writers in it. They weren’t seeking publication because, well, they wrote for themselves and they didn’t want someone changing their work. This was what the world was meant to be and they weren’t going to budge. Which is fine. That does not mean it’s saleable and many, probably the majority of writers out there, are fine with writing just for themselves.

I’m not one of them, which means that I need feedback. The harsher the better. I might not want to hear it at the particular time, but I recognize that I do need to hear it. And I might not do anything with it right off the bat but in the back of my mind, I’m working on it. Looking at how I can make the story better.

Revising, for me, is a bigger part of writing. When I first started out, I looked at what I’d slapped on the page and loved it. Every word. Every fragmented sentence and awkward phrase. I. Loved. It. I wasn’t able to look at it and see what needed to change, which meant that by and large, my so called revisions were window dressing. They weren’t the kind of change that the book needed to really take shape. I queried. And I got rejected. A lot. A hell of a lot, but you know what? Every rejection that came in that wasn’t a form rejection, I read. I saved. And when I started to really think about revisions on a certain project, I could finally see the things that were wrong.

I ended up throwing the whole book out. I rewrote it. And I haven’t pitched it again because it’s sitting in my Scrivener file folder, waiting on its turn. Because it’s back to being a first draft and if I’ve learned anything at all, it’s that my first drafts need major work.

Same story with the second book I pitched. That book landed me an agent but it never went anywhere. I was waiting for revision comments to help me see what needed to change. I never got the comments I thought I needed and my agent and I parted ways, primarily because I wasn’t getting input on the manuscript. I wanted to work. Hell, I was in Iraq and I needed to work. I needed guidance but ultimately, I think I needed too much guidance for her.

I still need guidance but the one thing I took away from every single rejection that came after I left my agent was that its MY BOOK. I am responsible for how it turns out. So while I thought my agent was going to give me guidance, until I could see what was wrong with it, I wasn’t going to be moving forward.

I am agentless now but I am not without guidance. As I work on the 3rd project I am getting ready to query, I am better prepared. I am able to take comments from my critique partner and see what’s wrong with, unfortunately, entire chunks of the book. I am able to see better what needs to cut and tighten and trim. Not entirely. I still need her input to give me prompts, but as I work through this book, it is my responsibility to be able to see it.

No one is going to do that for me. No agent is going to snap me up and turn me into the next Allison Brennan or Stephanie Meyers. Writing the book that gets me sold is my responsibility. I still need guidance and I still need advice and I’ve had some incredible support from the romance writer’s community.

But it’s my book and I need to be able to see what’s wrong with it before anyone else, agent, editor or otherwise is going to polish it up with me.

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When I first started writing, my fabulous mentor Candace Irvin said go to the bookstore and figure out what you’re like. You need to know the market before you can start to see where you fit.

So I went. I read Joann Ross, Cindy Gerard, Suzanne Brockmann, Marliss Melton and others. I read Robyn Carr after Roxanne St Claire said maybe you’re more like her. After all, I’ve got military heroes, I’ve got to be like one of these great ladies, right?

Oh how wrong I was. Here’s the problem and its not one I’m sure I can overcome. I’m not romantic suspense. So my War’s Darkest Series is not like Suzanne Brockmann’s Seal Team series where there’s a cast of eight or so strapping men to pick a story from. None of my characters are Special Operations Forces.

My characters are also not prior military like Robyn Carr’s heros, who have all gotten out and headed up country to Virgin River, hoping to find a new life away from their military experiences. My guys are the Everyman, my women spouses, nurses and warriors themselves. No Special Forces, Navy Seals or Black Ops. Just regular soldiers, fighting the good fight.

So my books don’t fit. They aren’t small town based like Robyn’s and they’re not suspense like Joann, Cindy or Suzanne. In short, there’s nothing out there that I can compare to because everyone has either written prior military characters or Navy Seals.

When I wrote military romance in a query letter, little did I know I was speaking in code for romantic suspense. When agents are reading it, they’re looking for suspense. Fast pacing, action, action, romance, action. And that’s not what I wrote. I wrote a character based, contemporary romance with men and women who are all still in the military. I wrote books that were not suspense except that by putting military in the query, I was telling agents that’s what they were.

I screwed myself, apparently. I feel like when I sent out this last round of queries, I should have put in big bold letters, THIS IS NOT ROMANTIC SUSPENSE. I don’t know that it would have helped. I’m reasonably certain there are other issues in my current WIP but I’m also reasonably certain that the main problem agents are seeing is that they’re reading for romantic suspense and putting the book down when it doesn’t live up their expectations, wrong or not.

So, bluntly, I think I’m screwed. How do you pitch a book that doesn’t fit into a nice neat genre? Especially in this market? You can pitch to your hearts content but if you can’t get past the gatekeepers, you can’t get sold. I’m not complaining about agents, mind you. I’m simply stating that I think I pitched my books wrong to the fabulous agents who asked for the full manuscript and ultimately passed with great comments.

So that’s the end of this, for now. I’m revising once more because I’ve got a song in my head that is making me work on this book, even though I’m pretty sure it’s a dead end. I’ve learned a lot, but the one thing I don’t know how to fix is how to query the next project correctly. Maybe I’ll put in the query: this is not suspense.

Maybe not.

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I’ve been working on getting published since 2007. Late 2007 to be fair, but 2007 nonetheless. It is now 2010 and I remain not only unpublished but unagented as well.

We’re talking 3 years now that I have been working toward something I have yet to achieve. While I had an agent for a brief smattering of time and it was a huge learning experience for me, I still remain essentially where I was in November 2007 when I first wrote The End.

This is not bad. Frustrating? Yes. But not bad.

Repeat after me. Not being published for me, at this point, is not bad. Looking back on everything I have learned in the last 3 years, the amount of change I have undergone as a writer is phenomenal. I know I am stronger today than I was in January 2008 when I had my first partial request (thank you Stephanie Evans). She was the very first agent who said send me your stuff and oh by the way, its not quite there yet.

I am glad she and the others have passed. I know this sounds like sarcasm but it is not. To be honest, I would not want to look back on that first book and see it in print. It was beyond terrible. I had no business querying it but I couldn’t see it.

The second book I queried, I see much improvement in. But I still have much to learn. While I would like to see this book in print because I believe in the story and the characters, if it does not happen, I’m okay with that.

I look at my writing career as a bit of self torture. The more brutal the critique, the harder it is to look at it and say, okay, what’s really going on. But being able to look at those comments, when you’re fortunate enough to get them, and learn from them is a key piece of growth for any writer. So no matter that comments are brutal, are they true? Being able to determine not if they are but why they are or are not is the key lesson to learn.

As I dig into revisions on my 3rd project that I’m going to query, I find myself looking at huge chunks of text and saying, I really don’t need this. Its cool info but it does nothing to advance the plot. Cut. This, I could put into dialogue and show. Revise. This makes my character look like a coward but I need the scene. Fix.

Being able to look at my manuscript and not love everything about it is a huge lesson for me. Major. Culling 30 pages is not easy but in my case as I found with the first 100 pages, necessary. Being able to see that it’s necessary without my fab critique partner Julie thumping me over the head with the printed manuscript, even better.

So in the 3 years since I decided “I’m a writer” I’ve learned a ton. I’ve had an amazing amount of support from fellow writers, offering advice, guidance and, quite often, a shoulder to cry on. I will continue to learn and grow. And in the event that an agent decides to take me on, neuroses and all, I will endeavor to keep learning.

At the end of the day, that’s all I can control.

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I’m not sure why I stopped reading sci-fi. As a teen, I devoured anything that had a spaceship on the cover, even some stuff that was pretty adult for a teenager. When I was a kid, I read the Star of The Guardians series by Margaret Weiss and Tracy Hickman. I loved this series but I loved the characters of Derek Sagan and Maigrey Morianna more.

Theirs was deep love there but that love had been twisted by betrayal and had turned into deep hatred and mistrust. The space opera involved putting the lost king back on the throne. There was betrayal, a space pirate and a loyal sidekick.

But Sagan and Maigrey’s story was the one that enthralled me. See, they’d once been inseparable but Sagan had a vision that he would kill Maigrey. When the book opens, its pretty easy to see how he’d be able to kill her. They hate each other but are unable to end the other.

The vision is fulfilled in the third book of the series but not for the reasons you might think. Maigrey has been poisoned and with all her powers, will wreak destruction on the galaxy and so begs Derek to kill her.
Derek does not die until the end of the fourth book and it closes with them standing at the gates of hell, facing a journey, together, at least, “through the darkness two must travel together toward the light.”

As a reader, I never understood why that book was never written. I want to see more of Maigrey and Sagan, even if their journey takes them through hell. But as an author, I understand why. The journey through hell would be simply a journey through hell. Maigrey and Sagan have already been reuinited, so there would be no major interpersonal conflict to carry the story.

But I wanted to see that book written because I adored those characters. Maigrey was incredibly strong and Sagan was deeply tortured. They were great and memorable and I wanted more.

So tell me. What book did you never get to read because it was never written?

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Something has happened to me and I’m not sure what. It might be that the rejection list is growing. It might be that I wrote a LOT in Iraq and was hoping to have something to show for it, other than rejections (and when I say that, I’m strictly referring to the fiction side of the house. The nonfiction seems to coming along nicely, if accidently:).

I finally finished my revisions on my first paranormal Resurrection and fired it off to my beloved critique partner, Julie, who is squeezing in time to hack it via hard copy.

I wanted to start on the next book. I still need to finish Monster, which is about 10 – 15K from the end. And once more, I find myself, well, stuck. I love the idea behind Monster. I think it might be the first book that I’ve written that doesn’t require a complete do over to get a workable plot. And yet, this is probably the hardest book I’ve ever written. It comes in fits and starts. I jam on it for a few days, then take a month off but the story remains, nagging at the edge of my brain.

So I’m getting there. But then what? I’ve got other books to revise but I’m seriously considering moving beyond everything I wrote in Iraq and starting something new.

But nothing’s coming. I keep getting these great ideas but they’re all just kind of bouncing around with no spark demanding they hit the page. I’m sure I could write them, if I, oh I don’t know, had a contract or something. Or maybe an agent. Yeah, someone to say, this will work, write this.

Cause I’ve written and I’ve written and I’ve written but I don’t have a direction right now. I’m lacking purpose because you see, I’d had a purpose. Then I received a Facebook note that summed up a LOT for me: I’ve no interest to read about war, romance or otherwise.

What if there aren’t a lot of books out there like mine because, well, no one wants to read them? That’s sobering, huh? Kind of takes the wind out of your sales.

But I’m okay with that even. I’m digging into my religion degree and writing my paranormal and I LOVE being able to justify reading Jewish legends and lore as research for a book. But the new book won’t start off. Actually, it started, but fear, that rat bastard is stopping me.

See, I have a problem with plotting. I don’t do it. Funny, when I rewrite a book, it comes together into a decent plot (at least that’s what I keep telling myself), but that first draft? Total shit. In that I don’t even bother sending them out to my critique partner because, well, she’s too busy to waste time reading my first draft shit.

But as I stand on the blank pages of the Dreaded New Novel, I’m afraid. I want to reach a point where I don’t have to write the whole book over. And what if I write this book, then rewrite it and then it still doesn’t sell? On the other hand, maybe that’s just my process. Maybe I need to rewrite the whole book so I can find what the story is really about and I need to take a 100,000 word detour to figure it out. Sure makes writing a synopsis sound a little better, huh?

So I’m not sure what’s going to happen. I’m researching book 2. I’m pretty sure I’ve got my main plot points (in that I know the last sentence, if that counts). And I know what happened between the characters before the book started (at least there’s a rough idea of it fleshed out in my scrivener window). So I’m not sure where this is going but I do know that I need to figure out a way to deal with the Fear of the Blank Page.

I’ll muddle through, I always do. But fearing the blank page? Yeah, not used to that.

And since I’m sharing, here’s the last sentence of this book:

Across the ocean, in a dark house at the edge of a farm, a little boy sneezed.
And Death smiled.

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I was sitting in mass today and Father Richard started talking about living in a dark fog. Sometimes, things just keep you down and you can’t see your way through them.
Kind of like how life has been for the last two months. Well, almost two months. I don’t count the two weeks I spent in Texas without the kids, so I haven’t been a mom again for sixty complete days.

Here’s the thing. I’ve been trying, really trying, just to keep my head above water. And its not like I’ve got a ton of stress going on in my life but it’s the stupid things that are bothering me. I hate traffic. I loathe it. It is the ultimate time suck and I have to do fight Fort Hood traffic every single day, because unless you’re up at 8 am, even going to the store involves crowds and lines of cars and bodies all jockeying for a place in the checkout line.

I’ll do anything to avoid going to the store, but especially when it’s busy. Thankfully, my hubby is cool with that, because well, if I’m not in the store, I’m not shopping. Gone are the days when I’d run to Target for a gallon of milk. Nope. I’m using a list and at the beginning of the week, I’m buying everything I need for the week, to include 3 gallons of milk.

I get this tight knot around my chest when I get in crowded places. I start getting frustrated and rude and I don’t like feeling like that. I won’t go to lunch on Ft Hood b/c of the lines and lines of cars 2 miles long to get off post. And no, there is no unused gate. All orifices leading to and from Ft Hood suck.

It’s something so trivial and so stupid and yet, its real to me. I simply won’t do it and will do anything to avoid it.

But its not just traffic. I’m also tired. I love having my kids around. I’m incredible glad to be home and be able to take my kid to school and be involved with her education. I love her teacher and she’s adjusted well to being back in Texas, away from the family up in Maine.

My writing is struggling, as is my ability to think clearly. I’m working my ass off to finish my WIP Monster but, as remains the case with this book, inspiration comes in fits and starts with it. So I’m not forcing it, I’m working on it as it comes. I’ve discovered that the book I sent out to agents has a massive pacing problem, but fear and the worry that I’m going to once more paint myself as an amateur has kept me from contacting them and pulling the project back. I still have hope that someone will take me on and work with me, but if this book isn’t the one to do that, I’m okay with that.

I’m frustrated because I had time in Iraq. I had time to write, I had time to read, I had time to work out. Here, there simply isn’t enough time. I have to get up at 5 every day for workout time. And when my kids are awake, its all mommy all the time. By the time they’re in bed, I’m exhausted. I might be awake for an hour after they’re in bed but by 9, 9:30 at the latest, I’m toast. How the hell was I working 18 hours days in Iraq like it was nothing? I don’t know, but I sure as hell have found the cure for insomnia.

So I’m dealing with a lot and trying to keep up a positive outlook on things. I’ve had days where I would have gotten out of the army if another opportunity presented itself, but I’m a realist and I enjoy being able to go to the doctor when my kid breaks her arm. I want to be published so badly I can taste it but it seems to remain just out of reach. If this book isn’t the one to do that, then all I can do is write the next book.

But at the end of it all, if I’m frustrated and tired and remain unpublished, all of these things don’t matter. What matters is that I’m home. For the time being, I get to be a mom and all these other things. I don’t have to go to the store. I don’t have to get angry when I’m in a store. Fr Richard spoke today of perseverance. Stick with it. You’re going through things now that you might not understand the purpose behind.

So I’ll persevere, even when I feel like crawling into bed and pulling the covers over my head. I’ll keep writing and I’ll keep making things normal for my kids and I’ll keep working on achieving that panacea of all working mom’s: balance. Wish me luck!

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I love books. I love good books even more. If an author has made me care about a character to the point that I can do nothing more until I see what happens next, bravo. But when authors cheat? When they build me up for expectations and then short cut through the problems that have been carefully laid out for almost 500 pages?

Yeah, I’m irritated. I expect an emotional payoff that is comparable to what the author led me to believe. I read a book last year in Iraq that left me so betrayed, I vowed never to read that author again. Turned out, there was a sequel, but even then, the author cheated in that book. Some of the issues that were laid out and were important to the over all story development were completely ignored or swept aside in the second book, leaving me as a reader with more questions than answers.

There isn’t another book after that one, so the questions remain. And so does my irritation. I just finished a book yesterday that has me irritated. It took a looong time for the story to get going (just a hint, if you’re writing romance, it should not take until page 120 to get the hero and the heroine together. I’m just saying. Urban Fantasy, no problem, take your time. Romance? Not so much). Anyway…The book took a long time to get me into the story. I couldn’t figure out who the main characters were or why they were important and I had a hard time giving a damn about wide variety of people I was introduced to in the first 100 pages. But I pressed on b/c this author is huge and, well, I wanted to give her a chance.

I probably won’t do it again. I’ve now read 3 of her books but have only finished 2. I just can’t care about so many characters. The rule for me is, write the book that features this books characters. I’m all for a good secondary romance or a secondary plot, but it has to be integral to the main one. Obvious sequel bait is irritating. And I LOVED the premise of this book but really? It just completely missed the mark for me.

So authors, don’t cheat. But also, don’t listen to your readers. Write the book that needs to be written and focus on the characters. Make me care. Make me feel their pain, their joy. Don’t bury them in pages of preparation, then leave it flat at the end.

What kind of author cheating drives you nuts?

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People think of Twitter as that little bird icon on people’s websites or a small blue T but if you don’t use it, you might be confused as to what it is. For an author, it can be a crucial tool or make you look like one.

Think of Twitter as a stream. If you have an account, you’re at least standing on the side of it. If you pop in periodically to announce that you’ve done this or that, you are, at best, standing on the shore, throwing rocks into it. This is not a way for you to gain followers or to fully exploit that which Twitter is.

To maximize your social networking time, you need to fully dive into the Twitter stream and that means entering the conversation. How do you find people to follow? I went to people I knew of, such as @Smartbitches and @deirdreknight to see who they were following. I looked for people who were industry folks, not friends of theirs, though in some cases they were probably the same and I followed them. Then I repeated the same for other folks, expanding the network of people who I follow. It’s a wide web but when someone, say, @laurakinsale followed me, I about fell out of my chair. It’s a small thing, but it’s pretty cool from a fangirl perspective.

Twitter etiquette is that is someone follows you, you should follow them back. I don’t auto follow. There are also bots out there that auto follow everyone then you somehow end up tweeting blow job links to little kids in Brazil, which is Not. Cool. Or legal but that’s another discussion. So you have to watch your followers and block the spammers (though for the life of me, I can’t figure out why people twitter spam).

Once you have a list of folks you follow, pay attention. Read it. Yes, this is a time suck, which is why I do not have a twitter client installed on my laptop. I only use Twitter on my iPhone because when I sit down to work, it’s time to work and keeping it on my iPhone is one way of keeping my usage under control. Though I’m approaching 4000 tweets so whether it’s in control or not is up for discussion.

But Twitter isn’t always about me and if you’re on it, you know the authors who only show up to promote their book. This is not a good way to maximize your time because you’re only having one part of the conversation. The part about you. After a while, people will stop listening. Some authors have huge fan bases and people will follow regardless. But to truly have impact, you have to converse and that means retweeting. The Retweet means that you take someone else’s tweet about them or something other than you and pass it along. I routinely look for my fav author’s stuff and pass them along. If I see someone say something great about a book I enjoyed, I pass it along. Same goes with good news. Make Twitter about the stream and the people around you and people will notice and follow you.

That’s not to say that I don’t have my wordpress blog set up to automatically tweet when I have a new post. You still have to tell people your good news and hope they’ll pass it along. It goes a long way if you’ve done the same for others in the past. I try to maximize the social networking time I do have and so I have almost everything tied in together, so my blog and twitter both feed to facebook.  Which is another drawback to Twitter. If you feed into your facebook, you still need to take care of that page, too. But that will be part 3.

Being social means talking about other than yourself. Follow people and they will follow you back. Or maybe not. I don’t unfollow people who don’t follow me because then I miss out on what they’re saying and then I’d be missing part of the conversation.

And the conversation works because once more, I look for common tweeters. Fellow twitter users have entered onto my keeper book shelf because I discovered their stuff through twitter and I might not have learned about them otherwise. But it’s about the conversation. About getting in and making about something other than yourself. And if you’re not on twitter in the conversation, you may be missing the point.

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Things are settling back in. I’ve been home for a week now and I’m starting to feel normal. The irritation that I feel over little things is subsiding and I’m getting back into my current WIP. I nailed 20 pages on it this weekend and I’m just started to get back into the groove of it.

I’ve also had an encouraging couple of emails from prospective agents. The agents who currently have my full are ones I’d love to work with, so if I have a choice, it’s going to be a hard one to make. I won’t make an on the spot decision, but having been in one agent/author relationship, I think I have a better idea as to what I’m looking for.

In other news, I’ve rediscovered how to burn food and that my lack of domestic abilities is still sorely lacking. There was no magical hit this past year that miraculously turned me into a Martha Stewart protégé. No, I still burned the first round of blueberry muffins, however, the second round (that did not come from a box) were a huge hit with my other half (trust me, this is a bigger milestone than you might think).

The biggest news this week is that on Friday, I get full swing back into Mommy mode. No more phone calls with the kiddos, I get full blown hugs, along with peed on pants, dirty faces and attitude. It’s going to be an adjustment, I know this but one thing I am hoping for is a better perspective on things with them now that I’m home. I’m implementing a rule on myself: no email, no phone calls, no distractions while the kids are home from school. The few precious hours I have with them each night are going to be sacred mommy and kiddo time.

I personally think I’m going to go insane inside of a week. It will be a race between my mom and I as to who gets there first: me from inheriting my children back or her from the silence in her house from no children.

Either way it rolls, life is going to be an adjustment over the next few months. They say it takes 90 days for things to fully settle in. Well, in 90 days, my husband might be moving to Ft Bragg without us, for me and the kids to follow this summer. THAT will be an adjustment, but having gone through 2 deployments at home with him gone, I know I’ll be just fine. Busy. But fine.

So that’s the latest from the home front. With any kind of luck, I’ve got a new normal, just in time for that normal to be replaced, once more, by chaos. I’ll live. I always do.

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I’ve written before about finding my own work in someone else’s. I wrote about it recently upon discovering that one of the soldiers in David Finkle’s The Good Soldiers was seeing a little girl every time he closed his eyes and that I have a character that, though he predates my reading of the Good Soldiers, had a similar issue.

In February, I wrote the book that was then titled The Last Sunrise, about a special operations team trying to prevent the real Biblical Apocalypse. Great idea, right? Well, just rewrote the book and it has key players from the hosts of heaven as well as the fallen angels.

Jamming so far, right?

Then I pick up a fantastic book and go ‘oh shit’. Love the book. Will read the entire series when I get home and have book store access. But now, as I edit my draft, I’m looking for ways to differentiate my story from this one. It’s not even that similar, other than the fact that we’re both using names from religious history, such as Belial and Lillith.

But I worry about it. Just like I pitched a book to Joann Ross’s agent that had the same name and same central issue without knowing about her book, I’m worried now that I’m going to look like I’m biting off this other author.

I know there’s nothing new under the sun. I know that no works are created in a void, but why does this same thing seem to keep happening to me? Am I over worried about something that I truly cannot control, especially if I’m pulling from the collective unconscious of the world?

Because that’s truly what I feel I do. As a writer, I’m tapped into something that demands my fingers move on the keyboard. The characters become people in my head and I know them. I hear their dialogue and jot it down as fast as I can because if I don’t, it hounds me until I do.

Then I discover the same impulse has already established itself somewhere else. But just like Madagascar and The Wild came out at the same time, I don’t think anyone can say this is a copy, because I’m not. My books were written before I even knew about this series.

But I know that as I continue with my own books, I’m going to have to consciously differentiate my world from this other author’s world as opposed to trusting my impulse from the collective unconscious.

What about you? Have you discovered your story matches something similar to someone else’s? What did you do about it, if anything?

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I debated long and hard about posting this one for two reasons: one, I am not a published author and have no idea the time constraints that published authors find themselves under. Nor have I experienced a raving email from someone I said no to or gotten a nasty response for a harsh critique. So I’m only writing this from what I’ve observed, not from what I’ve experienced.

There’s been a lot floating around the interweb about what a pain it is to be asked to read someone’s manuscript. Most published authors I know or have spoken to about this cite either a fear of being accused of stealing someone’s work or legal reasons from their publishers.

There are, however, other reasons and one of the main ones was that most often, some published authors think that unpublished authors are simply trying to skirt the system and get a referral to an agent or an editor. While I may not truly understand the sheer numbers of people like this, I wonder if that is truly what people are looking for when they ask a published author to read their manuscript.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that being handed a manuscript beneath the bathroom stall is both rude and awkward and reeks of desperation on the part of the writer. But assuming that newbie writers should know better is a false assumption, even if they should have some basic social understanding of etiquette in general. I’ve been ‘a writer’ for almost 2 years now and there is beyond too much information that I don’t know. I did not know about the Miss Snark website until last summer, AFTER I queried half the agents in the business.

Disclaimer: I have asked published authors to read my book. I sent an email and asked. And you know what? Most said I can’t and I was perfectly fine with that. I understand that people are busy. I understand that reading someone’s work who needs a ton of editing can be exceptionally challenging on both patience and brain power. I know this because I have pushed a book that was in no way shape or form ready to be read by anyone other than my cat.

I will also say now, thank you to the authors who did say yes, even if it was to read a few pages and say something like, I think you have talent but I don’t think this book is going to get you published.

Here’s the thing I love about the writer’s I have had the good fortune to have interacted with. Even if they haven’t read my mss, they’re still a source of inspiration and mentorship. Writers mentor better than any group I know of, including army officers. So I am well and truly grateful for the writers who have taken me under their wing. I know I am incredibly fortunate to have their support and their brains to pick on all matters from depression to writing industry to what to look for in an agent.

I am grateful to the writers who declined as well because I learned not only how to do so with grace but also that once published, the demands you have as a writer increase. When I asked one author why her publisher had a policy against reading uncontracted books, she was gracious to explain to me the whys behind the decision so that I now know that too many writers have experienced being accused of stealing someone’s idea. I am grateful because she took the time to explain something to me that I didn’t know.

I recognize that every published author cannot help every unpublished author. But when did it become the de facto sentiment to be so irritated that someone asked you to read something they wrote. Now, I understand being irritated if they’re simply trying to circumvent the system. And I understand how hard it is when people put you on the spot. I also fully understand that there are going to be those screaming emails when you do politely tell someone no and they lose their minds on you, blaming you for everything.

Agents go through it every day. I’m willing to bet that every agent in the business has sent a rejection only to get blasted by some unprofessional writer who blames them for not believing in their project that almost certainly would be a NYT Bestseller if only someone would pick them out of the slush pile. This behavior is wrong. Agents should not be subjected to it and neither should published authors. It is not your responsibility to help me make my manuscript better. It is mine to learn. But part of that learning involves asking questions.

So unpublished writers, approach published writers or agents on Facebook or Twitter with an idea of what you are asking. It takes time to read a manuscript, time most publishes authors will tell you they just don’t have. If someone does take the time to read and offer comments, don’t argue. Listen and learn what you can. I’m not telling you not to ask, but don’t email every published author and ask. Be nice and if they say no, say thank you anyway.

But published authors, please remember that someone, somewhere along helped you, taught you or mentored you and while you can’t help everyone, if you can, please do so, even knowing that it is not your job. No one has a responsibility to do anything to help anyone else out.

That doesn’t mean you can’t.

I know it’s frustrating and time consuming but please try not to be aggravated with us. Just like many of you are irritated with Harlequin Horizons for taking advantage of unpublished or newbie writer’s ignorance and desperation, please remember what it feels like to want to see your book in print so badly, you’d do anything, yes even hand a complete stranger a manuscript beneath the latrine wall. Yes, the onus is on us to work for it, and keep working for it. But if you can take a few minutes, even if it’s only reading ten pages of a manuscript and offer pointers, please do.

And unpublished writers, be grateful for what you get. I’m not saying you should lick boots or anything like that, but remember that other people’s time is precious to them so figure out what you need and be specific when you ask and be okay with being told no. If you really want to be a writer, you better get used to it, because being told no is standard issue in the writing world and you’ll hear a lot of it. But every so often, you’ll get a yes in there, so be grateful when you get one.

This post, hopefully, expresses just how truly grateful I am to the published writers who have helped me or simply offered a kind word when I needed one. This post also, hopefully, reminds all of us that no one is an island and that if at all possible, you should pay it forward when you can.

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