Jessica Scott

Yeah, yeah, I know I said I wasn’t going to be online much as I’m in a self enforced deadline and MUST work if I ever hope to make writing, oh, I don’t know, a career.

But as I was driving to work today, something about my conversation with my old brigade commander a couple of weeks ago struck me. Actually, it hit me in the head. But first, a tangent.

I’m a soldier. That doesn’t mean that being a soldier and being a girlie girl are mutually exclusive, it just means that for me, I’m more comfortable in combat boots than high heels. Yesterday, I registered for the RWA National conference in Orlando. Now, for those that are part of the fantastic Austin RWA group, I usually show up in uniform because I leave straight from work to get down to Austin in a reasonable amount of time (I’ve been terrible about going this year and I’m trying to get better). But I always sit with my back to the door and I’m almost always terrible uncomfortable.

See, I’m surrounded by women. Great women. Awesome women who adopted me while I was deployed last year and sent me packages every single month. They didn’t forget about me when I fell of the planet for a while when I was dealing with some personal issues. They are fantastic.

And yet, I’m awkward and unsure of myself every time I step into the room. I worry that I’ll swear too much or be too impatient or say something that might be perfectly reasonable to me but strike a civilian as completely horrible. And I desperately don’t want to offend any of them because they are an awesome group of ladies.

But to be honest, my entire adult life has been spent surrounded by men. There are a few women scattered throughout the formation but by and large, I’m one of the few girls. So even though I wear makeup in uniform, I don’t wear much. I don’t want guys to look at me and see a girl, I want them to see a soldier. And even though the first thing they DO see is a girl, they don’t see a girlie girl and when I open my mouth, it’s obvious that I am a soldier first.

As I get ready to go to RWA, I realize that I am going to have to be on guard. I’m going to have to polish the turd, so to speak. To learn to have entire conversations without swearing, even when I’m relaxed.

Do you have any freaking idea how hard that is going to be? Oh and it says on the website business casual. Um, I own jeans. And t-shirts. And flip flops because when I’m chasing my kids around the zoo, heels aren’t exactly what I would call functional (I am, however, in awe of women who do decide to go to the zoo in high heels but I wonder if they’ve taken pain medication before hand?).

That being said, every time I go to ARWA, I’m glad I went because I learn a little more about how to relax and how to be a little more of a girl. I won’t be a soldier forever. At some point I’m going to have to get reacquainted with my feminine side.

And apparently, that was supposed to start the moment I commissioned. When my former brigade commander gave me some of his valuable time for mentorship, he pointed out that I still have some of my NCO tendencies. He asked me how many times he’d sworn during our conversation and I couldn’t honestly think of any. Then he asked how many I had. And I flushed but he said it was fine because we had a relationship. I wouldn’t talk like that if I was talking to the division commander and he was right.

So as I move further into my transition as an officer AND as a writer, I realize that I have to find ways to be a little less crass, a little more polished. I have to swear a lot less and find a ton more patience.

In essence, I have to start polishing the turd.

Tweet This Post

The other night, I made it to Austin’s RWA meeting. I feel continually horrible because I don’t get down there nearly enough and I’ve been struggling through so much crap at home that the thought of driving over an hour each way was enough to keep me away. But the stars aligned and despite some really horrible news that I can’t share publicly yet that morning, I managed to get down there. Emily McKay and Robyn DeHart gave a fantastic workshop on revisions, which is exactly where I’m at right now. If you haven’t had a chance to hear them stop by and definitely sit in on one. It’s both hysterical and informative.

But afterwards, when we were all heading home, one of the gals (and I won’t name her b/c I haven’t asked her permission) stopped me. She said she knows that everyone always says thanks to the troops but she wanted to tell me herself how much she admired my service. She mentioned that her dad and her grandfather had both served in Vietnam and World War II. I asked her to pass along my thanks to her family’s soldiers but then something else hit me.

I asked to particularly say thanks to her dad because when he came home, there were no parades and thank you’s. No celebrations. Even now, more three decades since our soldiers finally came home, we as a nation look back on that war and the warriors who were part of it with a bag of mixed emotions. Today, politicians lie about having served but back then they were heading for the hall of education instead of the airplanes taking them to war.

I didn’t live during that time but my parents did and several folks that I talk to regularly. I’ve asked for help on research during that time period for a book that I will someday finish and get into revising but still, understanding a society that was so hostile to our soldiers who, at that time, were drafted. Some volunteered but most were there because they didn’t have a way into the Guard or to get a college deferment.

I’m not here to comment on the war or the way that administration carried it out or the politics behind it.

Today, I just want to say thank you to our Vietnam Veterans. You bore the country’s will into an unpopular battle and did what you had to do to come home to your families. You were asked to fight a war our people did not support and became the focus of rage toward a government that refused to listen to its people. Thank you. Thank you for your service. You stood back when protesters spit on you and called you names that they should be ashamed of because while they were sitting back home, safely doing pot and getting in touch with nature, you were in touch with nature in the jungles and the heat and the rain.

Thank you. You more than any other group of our soldiers deserve our thanks because you, more than any other group, have borne the heaviest legacy.

Thank you.

Tweet This Post

I’ve bragged multiple times about how much I love my home chapter of RWA, Austin RWA or AWRA to those of us who love her. But today, I get to do something a little extra special as a way to say thank you to the chapter that took such excellent care of me last year while I was far from home.

I’m having a giveaway to celebrate, not one, not two, but three Austin RWA RITA finalists. And I can safely say that, if you haven’t read any or all of these authors, you are missing out.

Tracy, Sherry and Laura are on my auto buy list. Anything they write, I’m reading quite simply because their books rock.

Sherry Thomas’ Private Arrangements is the book that brought me back to historical romance novels. Before that, the last one I’d read had been Laura Kinsale’s The Shadow and The Star. Now, I’m as likely to pick up an historical as I am romantic suspense. So when Sherry sent me a copy of Not Quite a Husband when I was in Iraq, I had the excellent pleasure of being able to give away a copy, because I’d already ordered it. Not Quite a Husband is an excellent novel, not only because its a reconciliation story, which I love, but because the setting is so unique and beautiful and the characters, in class Sherry Thomas style, are deeply and truly flawed.

It takes more than true love for them to overcome their burden, but Sherry always delivers. Not Quite a Husband is a beautiful story and I’m thrilled that it finaled in the RITA.

Tracy Wolff also sent me her first single title Full Exposure while I was in Iraq and all I can say is whoa. The sensuality was intense, the characters beautifully tormented (are you noticing a trend) and the story pulled me right in. It’s deeply moving and beautifully erotic. What’s more, her category romances are incredibly touching and moving, a tough task when you consider that categories are usually much shorter in length. The Christmas Present is also a redemption story and is perfect for the Christmas season or any time of year.

Last but not least, Laura Griffin’s Whisper of Warning was nominated for best romantic suspense. Laura made my to be read list before I’d ever met her. I absolutely loved Feenie and Marco in One Last Breath. I was hooked but I’ve got to say, Whisper of Warning is my favorite Laura Griffin. Courtney is one of the most deeply flawed heroines I’ve ever read and her ability to overcome her past is by far one of the best journeys I read last year. I won’t give it away but the end, when Courtney has to make her choice is one of the most touching scenes I’ve ever read. It brought tears to my eyes.

So it’s with great honor that I’m giving away a copy of all three books today to one lucky commenter. Tell me about your favorite RITA nod from this years nominees and Friday, I’ll pick one random winner to send all three of these incredible books by amazing authors!

Winner will be announced Friday, April 2.

Tweet This Post

So here’s something I bet you’ll never see coming. There are people over here that I can’t stand. In my previous position, I had two key leaders, both females who were unable to perform their duties. One of those individuals told anyone who would listen that I simply didn’t like her and that I was targeting her and ‘being mean’. Yes those words were used (we’re in the ARMY people, but that’s another discussion).

Anyway, both of said individuals retained their jobs, despite their complete incompetence and despite the fact that their failure to perform negatively impacted an entire brigade’s ability to communicate. When I look at the situation, I see two soldiers who failed to perform. What my seniors see is that they’ve got a female being mean to two other females.

Are you kidding me? I wish.

How on earth does this relate to writing? It’s actually exceptionally applicable because guess who gets blamed for all most all wrongs in a romance novel? If you said the heroine, you’d be right on the money. So here’s my issue: If as a female officer, I am harder on other female soldiers, regardless of rank, does that impact how I view female characters in movies? Absolutely. The other interesting fact is that when women critique other people’s writing, they are harder on women than they are on male authors.

So what do we do about it? In real life, should we be ‘nicer’ to other women simply because our male counterparts refuse to hold them to the same standard that they hold men to? Should we cut our heroine’s some slack because maybe we can’t really say how we’d react in the same situation or maybe because she does something we completely wouldn’t do in the same situation?

I think it should be a little bit of both. Maybe, in real life, we should spend more time developing our fellow women. In both instances, I attempted to but then became over come by events. Not an excuse, a fact. Then both people stopped working for me, limiting my influence even further. A wonderful example of women supporting and mentoring others is my home RWA chapter in Austin. All one has to do is post a question and folks will be jumping up with the answer and trying to help. There are wonderful mentors in the group, all willing to offer advice from how they got through a similar situation.

In writing, all I can do is identify what drives my heroine and have her act true to her character. With any kind of luck, I’ll have portrayed the emotional stakes correctly so my readers will understand where she’s coming from.

The real world is always more difficult to get right than fiction. In fiction, I control what my characters do. But if I take too much control, I risk mixing up my heroine’s motivation and that, more than anything, will have readers throwing books at the walls

Tweet This Post

For those of you who don’t know, I’m a member of the Austin Romance Writers of America. They’ve been amazingly supportive over the ups and downs of going through the pain of seeking publication and last night was no exception.

They threw me a going away party, complete with an Inject the Venom cake and a song. I’m going to say I’ve never heard a more beautiful rendition of God Bless America than the one Lexi Connor sang last night. It moved me to tears. The cards and notes are going with me, so when the bad days come next year, I’ll have some cheerful thoughts to remind me. The cake was donated by Cake Please and was amazing!

Folks, if you ever have a chance to swing by a meeting at the RWA in Austin. You’ll leave a better person for knowing them.

And before I forget, HUGE congratulations to Skylar White on her publication offer. It was a great way to end the evening. Celebrate, girl!

Okay that’s all. Stop by www.jessdawson.com for photos from last night. I’ll have them up soon!

Take care
Jess

Tweet This Post