Jessica Scott

There’s nothing quit like being 3000 miles from home and having a panic attack about your four year old trying to feed your two year old because something has happened to their primary caregiver, aka my mom. My mother is one of the healthiest folks I know but after the announcement of the swine flu, yep, good old fashioned panic attack.

Called on a good friend of mine,Robin Shepperd to help and she worked me through the worst of it. Let me tell you, I would probably be sitting in my CHU, plotting my escape from Iraq had Robin not calmed me down.

The single hardest part about being over here is surrendering my ability as a mother to care for my children. Rationally, I know that me being with my kids has absolutely no impact on whether or not they get sick. But the thought of anything happening to them is just unbearable. 

It’s kind of like when our dog Robbie died. He was being well cared for when some sick and twisted soul decided to feed him antifreeze. Robbie was a good dog. Dumb as a box of rocks, which explains why he was chowing down on antifreeze while our other dog Megan was telling him to leave it alone (another story for another time). I’m not as busted up over the fact that he had to be put down. By the time a vet was willing to treat him, it was too late. What kills me is that my dog died alone, in a strange hospital and he had no idea that we still loved him.

That’s what I worry about while I’m over here. That something will happen and I won’t be there to provide mom comfort. I’m coping now and have a great idea for a book that rose out of this panic attack, but for my mental health’s sake, I’m going to NOT write it while I”m over here. My brigade surgeon is already taking notes on the odd questions I ask.

I’m better now. But now i have a good idea what soul crushing panic feels like.

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Apparently, I have a masochistic streak. A mean one. Yesterday, at the urging of my good friend Al and my chaplain, I finally finished The Shack. Which prompted a panic attack at the thought of my children getting lost at the circus and me asking my parents not to take them. There isn’t quite enough drama in our lives so I had to throw that in. Hopefully, my four year old will be able to understand that mommy is just paranoid somewhere in all the therapy she’s going to require from grow up with us as parents (there’s more, just wait).

The second worst thing I did was my hubby and I decided to watch Marley and Me. Now, for those of you that know us, you know we have very special dogs. Special being the operative word. Watching Marley was like watching our Robbie, running away down the beach, destroying the house and yes, watching the poop (popsicle sticks in our case, not necklaces). 

So why is this a bad thing? I started crying at the opening credits and really let it go by the end. I cried while laughing my ass off over that dog. Robbie is no longer with us, which made the end of that move especially rough.

Now, I’m sitting in my CHU with two Dr Pepper cans up to my eyes, trying to get the swelling to go down. My husband is bringing me back dinner so I didn’t have to go in public. I look like I’ve been beat up (crying jags will do this). Watching Marley, while missing your kids and your pets: Worst Idea Ever. Loved the movie. Loved it. Still Worst Idea.

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So I already tweeted about it but my 8th book is nearing a close. Night shift has turned out to be incredibly productive for my muse (too bad it won’t last when I go back on days/go back to the states). I could Burning Out as my 8th, even though I’ve only got 7 books listed b/c it’s a completely new book. New conflict, new plot. The only thing that isn’t new is abou 2000 words and the characters. Otherwise, it’s new.

So if I’ve written all these books, why aren’t I selling them. First, the first draft of a book is usually NOT NYT material, especially for a newbie writer. When I went back and looked at the first draft of Burning Out (because I hadn’t touched it in nearly a year since I finished it) there were no less that 14 plot points (and I stopped counting about a 3rd of the way through). So I trashed it. I looked at all the different issues I had running through that book and picked 2 and started weaving them together and started over.

The second reason is that even though I’ve gone through my books each day after I finished a section, they’re still a first draft. I need a second set of eyes and both of my critique partners are neck deep in deadline insanity. So for the first time since I decided i was a writer, I’m practicing patience (NOT my strong suit).

The stories keep coming and the writing every day certainly helps. I keep waiting for the stories to dry out but they don’t. Some have more fire than others, in that I can’t put it down and I know where it’s going, others are a slow burn that keep going despite myself.   Burning Out was a little of both. The characters called to me but I didn’t know their story. Once I started, it was a slow crunch each day to see what was going to happen next. I hit my mid point snag that I always do around 30K words but pushed through it and am happy to say we’re nearing 80K a few days later.

Writing keeps me sane over here. So I’ll continue to write on new stuff until I either a: go home or b: have something sold. More on that, hopefully soon:)

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I’m a firm believer in what you send out into the world will come back on you. Call it karma or whatever you want, but the bottom line is that I believe if you are a negative person, you will attract negativity. That’s one of the reasons that I absolutely adore the folks in the Austin Romance Writers of America. Everyone there is helpful and supportive and always willing to lend a hand or a shoulder. We have a ton of laughs and we welcome pub’d and unpub’d alike. The group is fantastic. When I first started going to the meetings, I was apprehensive because I’d never been around a large group of women, let alone civilian woman. But I was soon hooked on the laughs and the mommy stories and all in all the fun of the group. They made me feel welcome and since I’ve been over here in Iraq, I get care packages from them on a regular basis. They made me feel like I belong, which is something new for me and I have their support even though I’m thousands of miles away.

The overall positive support I and others get from groups such as the Austin RWA is surprising and it shouldn’t be. But it is. I was just on Amazon the other day leaving feed back for a book I’ve recently read. It’s phenomenal and I highly recommended it. But here’s the thing. There was a 1 star review. Now, the reviewer is completely within his or her rights to not like the book and to leave not so glowing feedback. But the feedback was complaining about the price of the Kindle version of the book. There was even a comment, I assume, directed at the author, saying that if the price was lowered on the Kindle version, they would remove their negative rating.

Excuse me? We’ve resorted to blackmailing authors who have no control over the price retailers sell their books for? It’s perfectly okay to not like a book and tell everyone why you dislike it. I disagree with that technique, but hey, it’s your karma. But why on earth would you post something like that when the author has no control over it?

I guess it’s a natural extension of the negativity we’ve got in the public forum. We tear down teenage starlets because it’s fun to watch them fall. And we tear down authors because, well just because we can.

I propose this to everyone out there who has Facebook, Myspace, or any other blog. Post something positive about someone you don’t know. A movie, a book, a band, that bully in high school who’s amazingly successful. Send some positive karma into cyberspace and see what happens. Maybe we can turn some of this negativity into something positive. And remember, nothing in cyberspace is anonymous.  

I’ve been tempted many times to rant and rave here about things at work that have pissed me off. For the most part, I’ve restrained myself. Names have not been named even if scenarios have been discussed (or vented about). I’m working on that on my end.

The next time you think about dropping a negativity bomb onto the internet, remember, it’s easy to find out who you are. Why don’t you try to be a little more polite?

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Recently, in industry articles, both the New York Times and others have provided commentary on strong romance sales. Romance behemoth Harlequin is one of the few publishers that is reporting growth for the last two quarters when other areas of publishing are struggling.

On the flip side, there have been articles basically making fun of the romance genre as “bodice rippers” a misnomer that extends from romance novels of the seventies and eighties where, ahem, Fabio, was made famous. Thankfully, we’ve moved to significantly more diverse covers but that’s just one thing that has changed about the romance genre over the years.

The thing that bothers me is that other authors, either privately or in very public forums, denounce romance as ‘not real writing’ or just trashy smut. So it’s not the next Steinbeck. So what? Milton and Bronte aren’t for everyone. Sometimes, simple and sweet is just what someone wants. They don’t want the heavy drama of literary fiction. There’s nothing wrong with that.

The thing that folks who write these articles forget is that just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean that someone else doesn’t. Their likes and dislikes are just as valid to them as yours are to yours. It takes just as much work to write a H/S Special Edition as it does to write the next NYT Bestseller. Oh, and there are several NYT Bestsellers who started with Harlequin. It may be looked down on by people as formulaic but the bottom line is that formula sells, even in tough economic times.

Romance is the one genre where there truly is someone for everyone. So you want books about military men? Done. Vampires. Also done. Just about anything you’re looking for can be found in the romance genre.

Before you knock down a romance writer as a not real writer, ask him or her why they put those words on paper. Why was that the story they needed to write? The answers might surprise you. But even if you never ask the question, please don’t knock romance writers as ‘not real’ or some how substandard. It’s insulting and it’s ignorant of the facts: at the end of the day, romance has been around for a long time and looking at current economic trends, it’s here to stay.

Check out the diverse world of romance writers. You might be surprised by what you find.

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So I had a bunch of comments on what makes a good writer’s website and decided to compile them into their own post. Common elements of a writer’s website that people seemed to like:

About the Author pages,

books/Novels pages,

Writing tips and tricks

Blogs and current news

Other things people liked were extras. Such extras include research behind the books, stories behind the books (i.e. the inspiration), contests and newsletters.

Most of all, there was an ‘it’ factor. That little something that pulled the website out of the crowd and made people want to explore further. Fans would dig in regardless but what about that random hit that draws a reader into the site, possibly turning the curious passer by into a new fan. The ‘it’ factor was different for different people. For some, it was something unique about the writer. For others it was the story behind the story.

So what I’ve learned about writer’s websites is that everyone has their own preference about what works for them and what doesn’t. And that means when we create our own, we’ll include things we either wish our favorite authors had or that we learned from our favorite authors.

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I’ve debated about sharing this email but I figured if folks really want some insight into the emotions and challenges over here in Iraq, I’d be dishonest not to post it. 

A few days ago, our unit lost 5 soldiers in a suicide truck bombing. It was a catastrophic blow for our unit but eventually we all pick up and continue the mission. I didn’t know any of the men who died on Good Friday, but I knew PFC Sarandrea and I knew LTC Derby. I was not close with either of them but for some reason, their loss and the loss of our other soldiers since we’ve been here has bothered me tremendously.

I felt inappropriate feeling their loss. I felt like because I wasn’t close with these soldiers that I had no right to mourn their passing. So I reached out and asked someone for some advice. I emailed Lieutenant Commander Heidi Kraft, author of Rule Number Two: Lessons I Learned in  Combat Hospital, who has been kind enough to correspond with me while I’ve been over here. Her book was more than inspirational to me, her work helped me laugh when I was first over here and missing my girls more than I can describe.

Anyway, I emailed her a few days ago and asked her about what I was feeling. After requesting her permission, I decided to post my email and her answers here.

It’s about as honest as I can get. 

Hi Heidi,
I was wondering if you could answer a question for me. Up here in  Mosul, we’ve had several deaths this year. I’ve known a couple of the folks, in that I worked with them and interacted with them but I wasn’t terribly close to any of them. So why do I feel an inappropriate amount of loss? I feel like by grieving for our soldiers we’ve lost that I’m, I don’t really know, fake? But it really bothers me more than I feel like I have a right to be bothered. Any chance you can help me understand that? My husband lost a girl he worked with on a daily basis and he took it hard but I took it worse than he did (at least it looked that way). I don’t understand why I have this grief for people I’m not close to and I don’t know what to do with it.
Thanks in advance for any help you can offer.

All the best
Jess

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So my friend Julie Kenner is always supporting these awesome causes. She’s got a fund raiser going on right now to help build a library in Africa. Check out her blog  and support a great cause. Plus, as an add bonus, she’s kicking in copies of her books for everyone who buys a t-shirt. Trust me, the cause is awesome and the books kick ass.

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Why are some writer websites amazing and others not so much? Do you know? I’ve been tooling around with mine forEVER but I think I finally settled on a design that works for me. I keep tweeking it here and there but overall, I think I’m happy with the design and the layout.

What do you like when you get to a writer’s website? What do you dislike? The goal of this post is NOT to identify crappy websites. I won’t approve comments that are derogatory of other writers, however, I’d like to know what elements of sites you like or don’t like and if you don’t mind, why? If you subscribe to a writer’s newsletter, what kind of information are you looking for?

Thanks for the help!

By the way, am settling on keeping my .net website. When I get published, I’ll worry about the .com. Heck, my future as yet to be determined but fabulous agent may hate the pen name…

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So I just tweeted about this but figured I’d post a fuller question here. Just lost jessicascott.com to an auction. So how important is it to own your domain name as a .com? What’s the impact if I don’t have the .com but only have the .net?

Thanks for the answers in advance!

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As many of you saw, we lost some of our boys this past Good Friday. To say it makes for a somber Easter is an understatement. Anyway, I’m not going to comment on everything that the military does when we lose someone over here but I figured I can explain a little bit.

The first thing we do is take down all outside communications everywhere on the base that we control. That means no internet, no email, no phone calls back to the states or Germany or Korea or anywhere else. Why? Because early in the war, soldiers would call their buddies wives or families and tell them about their loss BEFORE the military could do the notification properly. And that’s wrong.

It’s wrong because we do things for a reason. Imagine getting a phone call from your spouse’s friend and being told that your loved one is gone. You’re alone in your home. Or maybe you’re at the grocery store. Either way it goes, you get a phone call and its over but you still have grief to work through, decisions to make and long days ahead.

Now if we do it the right way, we send a chaplain and a casualty notification officer. While the sight of two uniformed soldiers walking up to your doorstep is a giveaway to what’s coming, they are trained to deal with grief, to accept however you react and help you through the initial process. The casualty assistance officer stays with the family for as long as they request him or her to stay, helping through the military system, the funeral arrangements and the grief process as well.

We don’t abandon our family members after we loose a loved one. Mistakes are made, we are after all a human system, with all of those human frailties. But we do everything in our power to make sure we honor our soldiers who made the ultimate sacrifice. And part of that includes keeping people from being told the wrong way. 

Blackout is a pain for those of us who don’t know the soldiers who died, but it’s the right thing to do. People do funny things when they’re grieving and it’s better not to take the risk. I won’t violate blackout to post a blog entry or anything like that.

I fired off a quick email to my kids right before we blackout so my mom doesn’t freak out from not hearing from us but then I wait, just like everyone else, for the notification to be made. It’s not convenient but then again, the right thing to do often isn’t.

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Really, what can you say to that? What four year old is going to understand the army assignments process and the myriad of reasons you can’t come home right now.

It’s been a rough couple of days over here. I’ve been in typical denial for me, which means avoiding calling home b/c it just hurts too damn much. Plus the internet over here sucks and the video calls I’ve been attempting have been fleeting half pictures and choppy audio. So I get an email from mom that says my oldest has been acting out.

So I picked up the phone.

As hell goes, this was a good dry run. My oldest sat a few feet away from the phone wailing that I want my momma. Then my little one starts crying because the oldest takes the phone away.

Let me tell you, there’s nothing quit like hearing your kids hurting and knowing there’s nothing you can do about it.

But we got through it. My oldest was distracted by promises of Texas Roadhouse and a promise to call tomorrow.

And I guess that’s going to have to be good enough because there are still a lot of tomorrows to get through before we go home.

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Several weeks (or maybe just last week, time is a blur over here) I posted an entry about a plot device called Deus Ex Machina. My friend Julie Kenner – who’s book THE GOOD GHOUL’S GUIDE TO GETTING EVEN  – was re-released this month was kind enough to comment. It was such a clarifying comment on the meaning and use of Deus Ex Machina that I asked if I could repost as its own entry. A little background on the comment: My original entry made reference to a quote that said: if there’s a gun in chapter 1, you’d better use it. Julie was kind enough to clarify and expound.

Without further adeu, Julie Kenner on Deus Ex Machina: 

Actually, the gun quote isn’t so much about Deus Ex Machina, but about  reader expectations, set-up and payoff.  The point is if you have a gun in the first act, readers expect that it’ll be used in the story.  So don’t put it in if there is no purpose.  The quote is from Anton Chekov, I think:  If you have a gun in the first act, it better go off in act 3!  

At the same time, hey, you’re right on the flip side, too.  If your hero blows the villain away at the end with his sharpshooting skills, you’d better have set it up at the beginning that he has those skills!  

Even worse from a Deus Ex Machina standpoint would be if his brother appears and kills the villain. Literally, the guy (god) coming from nowhere.

Thanks for commenting Julie!

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My 7th book, Through Descent Darkly, is complete. And I am so dang happy about that because it’s been kicking my ass for a week.

I’ll update my website soon, but for now, Deimos has a new title and a new ending. Woohoo!

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Why on earth would I make a comparison like that? Does that mean the army is like prison? Absolutely not! I love the army and am proud to be a part of something like the history we’re building here. However, comma, there are some striking similarities between being deployed to Iraq and prison.

First: no family. Which means no distractions. No laundry, no dishes to wash, no dog to walk. You go to work, you go home. There’s nothing to do but work out, go to work, and sleep. As in prison, Iraq is a good time to get some college work done as there is no reason why a good distance learning class can’t take up at least part of your day.

Finally, Iraq is like prison because you can’t leave. Oh you might want to. You’ll make plans for all the things you’ll do when you get home, but ultimately, you’re here for a set period of time and you’re not going anywhere. And if you screw up and get fired and sent to another unit, you’re going to be here even longer. 

So a word to the civilians out there: Iraq is a time for soul searching, for getting to know God but more importantly for getting to know yourself. You learn what’s really important over here. Family. Time. Those are the things that Iraq takes away from you. But we are part of something larger than ourselves and what we are doing over here is critically important for the success and safety of our nation.

So thank a soldier tonight when you can hug your kids and know they won’t get blown up by an IED on their way to school. Try not to get frustrated when you’re standing in line at the grocery store, getting food for your family. 

Try to remember what’s really important.

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