I’ve been home a few days now. I’ve been busy. Aside from the dead lizard in the bathroom, which I really enjoyed, I’ve been going non stop. Cleaning the house and getting things back to normal in my home is nearly a full time job. But I did take time for me, because as soon as I get the kids back, I no longer have me time. So I went and spent some time at Bobbi Brown and at the Loft and spent some time trying to learn how to be a girl again.
But here’s the problem. I’ve been a soldier all year long. That’s been who I am, aside from the folks I interact with in the online writing community, I’ve been around soldiers and that’s it.
It was easier.
I very nearly lost my temper today at a girl who was doing her best to cut my hair but despite her efforts was pretty much giving me a hatchet job. You’d think I would be a little more easy going about this, seeing how my hair has had a single style for the entire year. But as the length got shorter and shorter and the sides more and more uneven, I felt this tiny knot of anger growing inside me. She was trying but the harder she tried the worse it got and the bigger the knot grew.
Thankfully a more experienced hair stylist stepped in and salvaged it so I’m not bald.
But really? I was getting violently angry over.
WTF? This is something so beyond petty and inconsequential, I’m ashamed to even be writing about it. Everyone who knows me knows I’ve got a temper but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve strived to keep it more in check. This year has been more challenging and I’ll admit, I let it fly more often than I checked it.
But if I’m losing my temper (which I did not, thankfully. I paid and left without comment) about something so absolutely stupid as a bad hair cut, how on earth am I going to handle my kids? I mean, they’re babies. They’re not used to me and I’m not used to them.
So how am I going to handle this?
I’ll tell you, this is the most apprehensive I’ve been in a long time.
This isn’t a two week stint of R&R. This is it. I’m mommy, full time, go starting in less than a week and there’s no one to take the load off for me and my DH. We’re both coming back this time, not him with me adjusting to him coming home.
It’s going to be an interesting journey, that’s for sure.