The worst Night Ever

So we’re back at Grammy’s now and the girls are settled right back in. Leave has actually gone very well. The girls have had a blast and I for one, have been focused on letting go of rigid parenting (like normal bedtimes) and just enjoying my time with the girls. For the most part, the kids have done a fantastic job adjusting and slipping back into family mode

Or so I thought.

Tonight, mommy tried to get an hour of mommy time to visit with her long time high school friend. I figured I’d been nothing but Mommy from the minute I walked through the door and I had gladly enjoyed every single minute. But I also figured that being back at Grammy’s, the girls would relax a little and be a little less clingy.

Boy was that a mistake. Within a few minutes of me not being in the room, both girls were crying and screaming. By the time they’d cried it out, their little eyes were all puffy and red and I’ve won the worst parent in the world award.

My oldest wrapped her arms around my neck and said Mommy, things aren’t going to be the same without you here. Then it dawned on me. While we were in Delaware, the girls were having fun and pretending that we really were a family again. Now that we’re back at Grammy’s and not heading back to Texas, reality has struck both of them like the 18 wheeler Grammy drives: Mommy and Daddy are leaving again. Time is such an adult concept that my kids don’t have any way of really counting down other than to look forward to winter and some time around Christmas for us coming home.

It really busted me up tonight taking even that small amount of time from them because every minute is so precious. In the long run, I know that when we get back to Texas, my kids are going to have an adjustment period and life will take a little longer to slip back into whatever normal is for our family. But for now, Mommy’s going to give them their bed time and whatever other time they want.

I’ve got three days left and it’s not nearly long enough.