We’ve been home from Iraq for three days now. It’s incredible. The worries that I had about the kids being confused or my youngest being more attached to Grammy and not wanting anything to do with me were unfounded. I know it breaks my mom’s heart that the girls are utterly and completely reattached to us and it’s terrible how cruel an almost 3 year old can be. But the kids are doing great They’re happy and well adjusted and aren’t out of control little monsters (good job Mom, seriously). My youngest is a little cling on, which is doubly surprising for me because she’s always done her own thing. Now she walks up, Mommy I want you to pick me up. And she snuggles right up. Her vocabulary is incredible now. We’re talking full sentences and comprehension that’s just insane. My oldest is polite and considerate and shock: they both listen (for the most part). I’m sure it’s just a honey moon phase but I’m absolutely thrilled at how they’re doing.

I’m pretty sure my heart is going to shatter when I get ready to go back to Iraq. We’ve slipped right back into being a family so quickly that having to give all that up again for a few more months is going to beyond suck. But it will go by quickly as we get busy with redeployment and my oldest starts school. Christmas will be here before we know it and the year will have gone by in a blink.

I feel a lot better having seen how the kids are coping. My oldest has some anger issues and she cries at the slightest provocation but together we’ve figured out that she just needs to be held. It’s what both girls seem to want more than anything. Mommy snuggles. And that, in and of itself feels so incredibly good. They still love me, they haven’t forgotten me and they haven’t stopped loving me. The fact that I have to leave again is brutal but I’m relatively sure it’s going to be okay. We shall see how this experiment plays out in the long run but right now, it just feels so damn good to be home!