Don’t panic. Not in an our base is being bombed kind of way. I just feel…edgy. Like I need to be doing something more than I am. Or like maybe I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maybe I need to go shopping (God forbid, get that girl away from the computer) not that there’s anything to buy over here or anything that I can really justify.
So let’s talk about this writing thing I keep doing. I’ve spent a huge chunk of time over the last two years learning, reading and writing, working on this project or that and somehow I feel like I’m standing in the same place that I was last year at this time, when I received my first every agent request (that was a heady feeling, let me tell you). Since then, I’ve gotten some great rejections and lots of helpful comments and yet, I continue to work on that next book.
Over here in Iraq, I find myself watching how people look, how they carry themselves because here is the heart of the stories I tell. How people are impacted by being over here. It dawned on me (and there’s no way for this not to come off condescending because I’m here with my husband but that is not how this comment is meant) that it is incredibly lonely over here. For folks that have been here before, the loneliness is something they’re used to, something to be dealt with by meet ups at chow or at the gym. But I don’t think anyone can truly grasp the aloneness that soldiers feel being away from everything that is familiar and comforting and…home until you’re actually here.
So as I watch people adjust to these conditions, I realize I’m learning about myself, too. How am I adjusting and changing because of my experiences over here (which have been incredibly mundane, so don’t worry Mom:). We’ll have to see how this changes my writing.